Square-Peg Reflections

Oh, Gratitude Again (or: More Changes)

I'm listening to Josh Ritter's song Mind's Eye: "My Day might be coming but yours is coming first. I'll knock you out of your daylights. When you come for me some night, you better bring a shovel, be expecting the worst..."

Sounds like a crabby song but it makes me laugh, I bet he was laughing when he wrote it - who knows? If I get to one of his concerts this year I hope he talks about it (I want to make this "Concert Year" - would love to see Ritter, Wilco, and about 6,000 others - not enough days in the year).

Today (a Sacred Sunday post ON Sunday - woo hoo!) I want to talk more about gratitude for changes in my life. Slightly-Brit tells me it's unethical to show you my out of town friends until I get their ok - and they're not available at the moment - so the only picture you get to see is one of me from the day they visited.

BUT - it's apropos because - in the picture I'm carrying a purse. Yeah, big deal, right? Except it IS a big deal. I never carried a purse (ok, rarely - and when I did I didn't even know what to put in it) until very recently. Hey, I figured that's why you go places with people - they usually have pockets (or purses).

So - about gratitude for changes - more about gratitude for changes...while I'm giggling away at Josh Ritter. Here's the thing -  I had out of town visitors (I think I mentioned that this is like homecoming month - I'm getting to see loads of folks). Now I've known my friend Lorraine (who's picture you can't see yet) for a few years, but I've never met her! And here she was -  on the East Coast for a convention - and I was going to get to meet her and her hubby, Dave.

They hit horrible traffic, we had some back and forth calls and for a bit I was afraid that I wasn't going to get to see them (who could blame them for giving up - so much driving - and they had a long way to travel after seeing me). But Lorraine promised that she would not leave the East Coast without seeing me, and I threatened to get the State Fuzz to set up a road-block if they tried to escape - and, well - it all worked out wonderfully.

We met at a Chinese Restaurant. And even though they are the ones who had such traffic trouble, they got to the restaurant first. I saw their car - no one in it - figured I'd find them in the restaurant. So I gathered up my purse (my purse!) and sweater and started toward the door.

As I was walking toward the door Lorraine and Dave came out. Here we go - here is one of the changes I'm talking about...I ran to them - arms outstretched for a hug and yelling: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Contrast this with me at an earlier time - In grad school, at a mandatory Meet and Greet gathering - my friend Amber whispered: "C'mon let's mingle" and pulled me by the arm to an escape route she knew. I breathed a sigh of relief,  shook my head around a little to get clear because Amber was the last person (after me) I expected to really want to mingle, and had a very nice time NOT meeting people. That was me. I loved people's stories even then - but put them in a book (or let me eavesdrop - just don't ask me to talk!).

The new me runs to people and hugs them - and is hollering "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" while running. Kinda funny. And such a big surprise to me!! I think of myself as a reserved INFP (Myers Briggs), but my "E" is showing.

I told the story to a dear friend  and said how funny it was to see myself being this way. She responded:

"yes! karen! you! open! and fun! and warm! and loving!
go figure, huh?
lol!

you're the only one surprised!!!!!!!"

And - full circle here to gratitude (ok, half-assed circle that's twisted like a drunken mobius strip??) - it's friends and their willingness to listen - deeply - to care and to hold up a mirror so I can see myself - that GAVE me the gift of being comfortable being ALL the me's.

John Fox's poem When Someone Deeply Listens to You ends with this stanza:

"When someone deeply listens to you,
your bare feet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you."

YES! And thank YOU!!

Something Good

Slightly-Brit bought me a copy of Jakob Dylan's song "Something Good This Way Comes" recently. She's probably pretty sorry she did that, because I've had it on (the ONE song) non-stop for days...

Prior to playing this song over and over I was playing Jack White's (The Raconteurs) Consoler Of The Lonely (growling at 'ole Jack for complaining about getting too much action - oh, SO sorry for you babe - growl growl)
and Top Yourself (because I like to play it loud in the car and yell "woooooooo" with the band till anyone with me is near deaf). Slightly-Brit should be happy I can't "woooooooooo" to "Something Good..." - gives her ears a break.

"Something Good" is my new theme song. I feel it!

This weekend I got to spend time with friends - working, laughing, laughing some more, working some more. We didn't have a lot of time to get deep into subjects we all wanted to catch up on, and yet - we did.

Two of us "got" a business decision - direction on a plan we had - independently of each other. We didn't talk about it, we just wound up both knowing. I'd asked one of my friends (prior to us getting together) to say some prayers/meditate around two subjects that are knotted up for me at the moment.

When we met at our destination she asked me: "Are you sure you're ready for this? I mean, you do know everything will break loose, right?"

And - even though our other friend had NO idea about my prayer request - she had the most appropriate present for me  - when I was leaving she gave me a pair of polkadot Wellies, and said: "These are for when the s*#t rolls in, you can wade through it in these".

Two of us talked about being ready, really ready for a partner now. Then a day or so later we all heard from another friend - who wasn't with us this weekend - who announced: "I'm getting married!"

To be painfully honest I was green for a few hours. Until I heard the story. Stories break my heart open. There's no I/It thing when I hear a story, it's all I/Thou - I connect through story. It was a good one too - sweet, full of hope, and all that stuff Jakob Dylan talked about in "Something Good..."

And our friend blessed the two of us who are ready by telling us that we're going to find steak ourselves (she's a Texan, what can I say), and can let go of the idea that all we're going to get is grilled cheese.

Then I heard two stories that brought me to my knees - I mean focused heavy duty holding people in The Light stuff - and that brought up tears for my own "lost child" - which then seemed to break something open for me. I feel freer than I have for a long time.

And I feel ready - (ok, not really ready - I don't do well with change - do you?) - ready enough - which is good enough! Ready for change, ready for the next steps (the first of which is decluttering! Don't you love how the universe can be so fricking practical - I ask for direction in business and relationship, I get: "declutter").

Ready for Something Good, and ready for the stuff I'll have to wear my Wellies to wade in - it's all good (though maybe not all fun). And for the record - there are things I feel I'm missing in my life at present, but friends I'm NOT missing. I count as my friends some of the most awesome people in the universe. Talk about Something Good, what a life! Plus I've got these incredible Wellies!!

Photos copyright lauren Caterson 2008

Ridin' the Turtle

(the title makes no logical sense, but when has that ever stopped me, hmm? Little Princess and my son are actually riding down a hill on a toy called a Turtle - in the picture...and Riding a Turtle sounds fun - maybe not for the turtle? - and this is pretty much all about fun/joy...my version of it, so..there's the "logic" for the Ridin' the Turtle title)

Some days are just sweet...Today I was heading up to a Quaker Meetinghouse to get my son and smiling like the Cheshire cat. I'm sure that if someone looked in the car window they'd figure I was up to no good - my smile was sooo big. For no good reason, or maybe for every good reason.

There are some delicious happenings right now. Little Princess (my granddaughter) is visiting. She lived here for much of her life, so having her incredibly outgoing, vibrant, super-social personality around just feels "right". Then there are visits from and to friends coming up. Lots of visits! It feels like homecoming this month.

So, I was driving - had the CD player playing LOUD. There's something incredibly freeing - awakening - grace inducing about music. And as I was driving I was transported (figuratively guys, don't worry - my hands did not leave the wheel) to a driving experience I had a few years ago.

I worked at the Juvenile Detention Center outside Doylestown a long time ago.
(This was long ago - I was a teen - whew, yep - light years ago!)

So much of the farm land I used to drive past is gone now - turned into McMansions. When I had to drive up to Doylestown Hospital a few years ago - for crisis training classes - I went "the old way" - took those roads that used to be dotted with farms. I would never have been able to find my way visually. Instead, I drove by the seat of my pants.

THAT was the experience that came back to me as I drove to the Meetinghouse. My body knowing the curves and turns of the road the way I'd want to know the body of a lover. The thrill of that magnified by music.

And then, on the trip home, passing Lake Luxemborg and the Baltimore Division of the train made me smile even more. Such silly names  (to me, anyway) - Baltimore?  We're at the bottom of Bucks County - hours away from Baltimore. I'm sure there's a reason (really, I'm NOT sure...square-peg distrust of bureaucracy), but I don't even want to hear it.

And Lake Luxemborg? Again, why?? Don't tell me. I don't want to know. I prefer to giggle as I go by.

But none of these things - the visits, friends, family, silly place names or lover-roads are the reason. There IS no reason. Some days I'm just struck by grace, by joy, by the WOW!

I know that a lot of people claim you can get into this blissful place on your own. And there's so much to be said for turning our hearts and minds to the positive. I know that and I do that stuff - and yet sometimes even in the middle of doing all the "right" stuff - I still feel the blahs.

And then, sometimes like today - doing the same things I did yesterday and the day before, thinking the same thoughts - aiming for good stuff, but not always walking there - I will get WHACKED by all the love, joy and grace in the world.

Makes me want to invite every one of you to my backyard tonight  - we'll toast marshmallows and tell stories and we can laugh and sing all night long...but it's supposed to storm tonight...and my backyard is not THAT big...so, OK, maybe another time...

But - hey - just remember (never forget) that you can't tell when an over-the-top Ridin' the Turtle kind of day will come to you - keep your eyes open - and be grateful for every, every minute!

I'm not enlightened

OK, I'm splat-dab right in the middle of some ugly stuff that I have no control over. I mean NO control...not control over, not control in - nada. And there is almost nothing that brings out the fun in life for me as much as having no control (that's sarcasm, or..well, it might be cynicism - it's some kind of grumbly s*#@).

We've now established that I am not happy with this. Add to this scenario the fact that I am giving myself misery because I'm not enlightened enough to float through the whole situation smiling and passing out sunflowers. And then there's also the grief I'm giving myself because - hey, I must be drawing this ugly stuff toward me, right? I mean - somehow this is my fault.

Blah, blah, blah.

So this morning I had an inner giggle about something, can't even remember what, and I realized - hey, I'm having fun right now. It was a little shocking. Yes, I've felt peace and joy at times - even in the midst of this ugly stuff. And that hasn't stopped me from crying or wanting to throw up at some other point in the day.

I don't know how to explain this, but it was some sort of AHA thing for me - knowing it's ok that I'm not going to walk in any those feelings all the time. Just let them come - let them go. But (so shoot me, I'm not enlightened - grin) I'm going to make sure to notice the happy/giggly/celebratory ones and make the best of them.

And, even in the midst of s*#@ stuff, there are a lot of those times. Listening to The Raconteurs full-blast while driving or Grace Potter (or any one of the awesome musicians Slightly-Brit finds for me). Joking with my kids (who aren't kids). Talking to friends. Watching old Monty Python shows or DVD's of the horrific (but hilarious) "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". And laughing at myself - so many opportunities for that. Like yesterday:

We're heading home through Trenton. As we drive by a huge mural - baseball field and players on a big stone wall maybe 10 ft high and a block long - I mention: "Laur, that's the prison."

Slightly-Brit's never been in this area. She responds: "uh..yeah". It sounded like: "Duh!" I had no idea why. I wondered what that was supposed to mean - and decided to practice my new trick: actually seeing things when I look at them. So I look with new eyes...and yeah, DUH!

There's a guard tower on either end of that 10 ft wall. And a double row of circled barbed wire at the top of the wall. It's likely we passed a sign saying "New Jersey State Prison" as well, but I'm not asking.

(Photo copyright: Lauren Caterson 2008)

The dead bird story

I went outside to water plants this morning. I had something big on my mind/heart. I was trying not to be worried. Trying to trust. I had this huge bucket that I fill, it takes forever. I could drag the hose to the veggie garden, but the hose is never gentle enough. And using the big can makes me pay more attention - to the plants, to me - all of it.

So, I'm glancing around the back yard as I wait for the bucket to fill. Oh, I see a fat robin. What' s up with him? He's lying belly up, legs in the air, beak wide open - like mid squawk. If he was killed how come I didn't hear him yell?

I figured he had to be dead: orange belly in the air, legs splayed, beak open...I wondered - maybe I should spray the hose over there if it'd reach. Nah, that's not good. Disrespectful if he is dead - scare the worms out of him if he's not.

He's dead though - no brainer.

The whole time I'm filling the enormous bucket he's lying there beak open, belly up. Yeah, he's dead...

I'm still filling my bucket - I decide to call for reinforcements - I mean, what's a son for? Figured I'd get him to get the dead bird and dispose of it.

I tap on the window, I talk to the dog who comes to see what I want. Finally get some attention from the man.This whole time the dead bird is maybe 25/30 ft away, not 6 miles away. Still he lies there - through all my noise (and I am soooo not quiet) - because he's dead.

Out comes man with bag. By this time I'm half way to the veggie garden with my finally-filled bucket. I look toward the dead bird's final resting place - only he's not there. Well, I'm at a funny angle. I ask: "Can you see the dead bird?"

"No"

I can't either. I come over so I'm more in line with where I was standing when I first saw him - and he's not there! Man points to a big fat robin dancing under the pine trees nearby and asks: "Is that him?"  (men! lol) Well, duh...how do I know? We were never properly introduced.

I said (laughing): "I don't know, he's not lying with his belly up and his beak open, I can't tell". We laugh.

No bird though...

But there was that fat robin not far away - under the pine trees. If a cat had, say - dragged the bird away in the few seconds when my back was turned I'd assume that the bird under the pines would've:

A) Left, who wants to stand around saying: "Next!"
or
B) Squawked like an SOB

But he didn't do either, so I'm guessing he was the "dead" bird.

I didn't "get" it until I was telling the story to a friend - I'd spent a lot of the morning praying/meditating - trying to put myself in The Light regarding the big thing that was worrying me.

And the moral of the story is:

Things are not always what they appear to be...the true story isn't always what your eyes (or mind) tells you
AND
maybe the true story is better than what you think you know.

But...you'll never know - so - just keep your eyes, mind and heart open..and enjoy the ride!
btw: do birds sunbathe?

Gratitude: Sacred Sunday

OK, gratitude. This is my third Sacred Sunday post..tho there have been five Sundays since I joined..um..what can I say? (Plus - shhh - it's not Sunday today!) Gratitude...but first a bit of a whine - the reason I've been AWOL around here (you noticed, right?) is that I've had a vicious case of poison-ivy!!

Yuck - and I mean yuck! I'm vitamin E, cocoa butter and aloe-ing the s__t out of my arms in hopes that I don't get permanent scars.

Just to plump that whine up a bit: this has been the most physically annoying period of my LIFE! Wacky spider bites, broken toes galore, etc, etc. The poison-ivy just topping off maybe 6 mos. of goofball body stuff. You are so lucky that I've spared you hearing about most of it.

And yes, I do know that there are some interesting ways to look at this stuff - metaphorical ways to examine body problems (Healing the Body Through Mind and Metaphor is an excellent book exploring that topic! Thanks, Ter!!).

But this was supposed to be about gratitude. I'm grateful that the poison-ivy itch is on it's way out! I'm grateful for beauty - like the picture here - taken at Morris Arboretum. Beauty reminds me to be grateful - reminds me of The Beloved - that I AM loved.

People. I am so grateful for the people in my life! Speaking of people - two incredible sweeties each recently sent me a blog award - Terri St. Cloud and Pattie Mosca - and I hope they will both forgive me for taking forever to pass the award on (I'll get to it, I swear - and you both know how I can swear...grin).

And the interent. I'm grateful for the internet. I am. I've met such incredible people through the internet. Some I've met online and then met in person, some I used to see in person, but now connect with on-line, and some I haven't met in person yet - but I've gotten to know them on-line and hope to meet them in person one day. Some I've gotten to know through the internet and hope to keep it that way (oh, not YOU! jeez).

While I'm on the people thing - I joined Facebook awhile ago - hoping to connect with people, do some networking - maybe revisit with people from college or highschool (where are you people?).

If you've got a Facebook account come on over and look me up! And if you don't - come over and sign up - I'll be your friend (aren't I sweet?).

Well, I could just go on and on - I'm in a very grateful mood. But I'm boring myself here - I had an idea - a thread to follow when I started, but it's gone off by itself somewhere...let me just say I'm grateful to be able to be back here. And I'm going to go away and think about putting those blog awards up. Now go bore yourself with some gratitude!

(Photo copyright: Lauren Caterson 2008)

I Got Mine

I've been humming and singing "I got mine" - a bluesy tune by the Black Keys - since I first heard it a few days ago. While I'm attracted to the beat and the blues thing, it's the title (and the refrain: I got mine, oh baby I got mine) that's making me smile.

I got MINE, baby!

For a while now I've been working on learning the good lessons of life. Paying attention to what I'm grateful for (while acknowledging what I want). I'm all thrilled (and overwhelmed) at total-redo plans for Square-Peg-People. I'm all in love with the world - and every blessed thing it offers (mostly loving people SO much, the stories, the way people open up lots of times when I take the risk of going first).

So I'm humming along and singing "I got mine" and LIFE gave me a test.

While I was humming and shining like the sun - feeling so good about life in general and MY life specifically I got hit with a few bummer notes. Things I can't do a damn thing about, but are pretty bad - the biggest being repeatedly seeing someone I love get hurt, hearing stories around that situation that are very sick. And knowing it's totally out of my hands.

My shine - and my humming started to get smaller. And smaller. I almost swallowed it. I was trying to hold on, but felt kind of like someone going under for the third time. I had mine...

AND then I stopped...I looked down at my arm. I was wearing a bracelet that came in that day's snail mail.

The return address said "Blissmonger" and it took me a few minutes to remember that my friend Debra had started a site called Blissmonger awhile back. When I opened the package there was a cool bracelet inside - I put it on the minute I saw it. There was also a note that said: "To wear it is sort of like wearing red cowboy boots or glitter ~ a reminder of who you really are".

I don't know about cowboy boots (in any color) or glitter (well, suffice it to say there are times I've worn glitter - and there might be more in the future - but the folks who are invited to that party are few and far-between!!) but reading the note made me laugh out loud - and that IS a reminder of who I am!

And not just a reminder of who I am, but of what I'd been about. What I got.

I was having fun with life - loving life - humming and shining. And glancing at the bracelet caused me to remember the test.

I forgot to mention, it was a multiple choice question test. With one question:

LIFE EXAM

How do you want to live?

• a) in anger and a heavy "separate" feeling
• b) in confusion and fear
• c) in The Light, in LOVE, humming and shining and shouting "I got mine!" And sharing that with everybody you meet.

No brainer! I passed with flying colors! People who know me know how important that is - Slightly British Daughter actually puts "A+" on the top of my writing when she edits - even if it needs lots of work - because I soooo need to get an A (you think I'm kidding?).

I GOT mine, baby!

Of course the test (and life) would be a lot easier if the blechy stuff just stopped BUT that isn't how life is. So it comes down to how do I want to answer the test. Things got a lot smoother when I remembered that.

If we continue with the test analogy then it's obvious I cheated - Debra tossed me a crib sheet. But hey, what are friends for?

Wildly coincidental (or not, which is my preferred observation) - the bracelet is the exact colors we've got planned for Square-Peg-People when we do the big re-do!

Go say "Hi!" to Debra at her Etsy shop, Blissmonger.

Photo: copyright Debra Schanilec 2008

god doesn't like me?

Yesterday I knew that god didn't like me - or at least enjoyed messing with me.

I AM an easy target. I get my feelings hurt easily, I want to be the center of the universe. I whine. I'm someone it would be fun to tease because I can be so gullible.

Anyway, yesterday I was particularly miffed because god grants favors to my friends that I never get.

I have friends who say things like: "Whatever is out there, whatever guides the great universe - I NEED to know _______ (fill in the blank) and I'm not going to move from this place until I get an answer." And just like that - they've got their answer: the perfect plan, the name for their deformed pet, the location of their lost vacation home keys - whatever.

Not me!

I'll say the same thing - with the same conviction! Only I address god as "The Beloved"*. I get personal. And what good does it do me?

I sit there - and nothing happens - for a long time. Then I sit some more. And all I hear is - I swear - laughing. Deep, hearty chuckling. And I think I once heard: "hahahahahah, whaddya gonna do? hold your breath? hmmm..c'mon ms. smarty pants - do it...haaHaHAHA (escalating laughter)..."

Why this is I have no idea. THAT it is I have no doubt.

I feel like I should get at least equal treatment. Maybe preferential treatment. After all I'm on a first-name basis with "The Beloved", whereas my friends aren't even sure that "whatever is out there" is personal, for crying out loud.

Today I got an answer. Not yesterday when I was riding the storm, screaming into the wind "I'm not leaving 'til I get an answer!!" (and then fell asleep). Nope! But today. After I'd given up.

That's how it always is for me. I have to get really frustrated, totally give up (and it doesn't work when I fake it, I've tried), stop even wanting to know - and THEN I get an answer.

All I can figure is - we have to get past our comfort zone. I'm not sure what that means for my friends, but for me - I'm usually pretty sure that I CAN figure things out - I can reason through (where I got this hare-brained idea I have no clue - I am actually the last person to reason through anything - but it's a core belief regardless).

So - for me - getting to "I don't know" is key to getting help from the universe, from The Beloved. And I don't like it!

If there's a "Rate Our Customer Service Survey" put out by the Universe/The Beloved I intend to note that I am still pretty miffed about this. I want to be able to stand my ground (or sit, I like sit better) and say: "I NEED to know _______ (fill in the blank) and I'm not going to move from this place until I get an answer." And I want to get an answer - THEN - with no laughing.


*I don't claim to have a real bead on god. I'm not nearly as sure (about anything) as I was in my youth. I prefer to think of god as "The Beloved" - and skip all the God as mother/woman or father/man or any combination invoking some sort of great hermaphrodite in the skies.

Life is Grief

Life is grief! 

Thankfully, that's not all life is. BUT life is grief.

I have this deep desire that I'm starting to realize may never be satisfied. I probably have plenty of desires that won't be satisfied, but for now I'm looking at this one.

And, lest this post called "Life is Grief" become dark and heavy - LOL, let me say that I've had untold numbers of desires satisfied. Many of those satisfied desires came at me like an over-eager Dalmation - nearly knocking me over! Plenty were totally unexpected - beautiful gifts from the universe - that I didn't even know I desired!!

BUT - there's this one that's looking like it might die on the vine, so to speak.

I wrote about this last night to a dear friend - at that time I was thinking: OK, say I never see this desire fulfilled. How do I want to live my life?

And that seemed like the path I was going down - figuring out, thinking through - how do I want to live IF I never see this deep desire manifested?

Only -  this morning I woke up knowing there was something else. I needed to die to the desire. Or, I need to know that the desire is dead - grieve it and keep moving. The whole process makes me think of the spiritual traditions that say when you die your spirit lives on. So we can bury someone, grieve them, and know that we will see them again - but different(ly).

So - my thoughts in this now are along the line of grieving my Disney World-like underlying belief that because I deeply desire this it'll happen. I'm letting the grief in - or  maybe walking into it. And so...

Life is grief!

But what I've learned about grief is: it wakes me up, it brings an alertness and eagerness to live in the NOW that nothing else does. It brings me smack-in-the-face with emotions.

And I like that!! I do. Not that I'm saying "bring it on" - because, given the choice I'd probably run fast from pain. But there it is - life is grief and that's ok, even good! And out of this I'm going to get the thing I was talking to my friend about - I'm going to really find out how to live BIG even when I am missing the deep desire of my heart.

What I figure that will look like is related to the picture of Little Princess (above). She looks so eager, she's leaning IN to life. She's up to her gazebo in mud (life is messy - wear boots!), she has no idea what she'll find there - could be a diamond, could be a crocodile (both pretty much long shots, but hey! anything is possible) but she's IN it - there's an excitement, a brightness there that I am going to have.

And THAT desire I can be sure of, because it's one I control!

(Photo copyright: Lauren Caterson 2008)

Chicken Poop

                                                   
The Morris Arboretum is a place I love to wander around.

We were there a little over a week ago and were soaking up the beauty of Spring colors and blooms.

As we strolled along from favorite place to favorite place Little Princess told me: "I love these enormous chickens, but I hate walking in their poop!"

The enormous chickens are actually ducks and geese, but Little Princess' fowl-naming difficulty isn't my point (she's usually quite good at it, corrects me all the time). It's the poop.

I don't like walking through poop either. Duck poop at the arboretum is pretty unavoidable, and shoes can be washed off. What I get frustrated with is emotional poop.

Why is it that emotional poop is also unavoidable? You can be walking along the most beautiful paths, soaking in everything wonderful and splat you've stepped in ickystinkysadmadglumblah poop...And puleeze, do not scold me with fairy tales about the life lived totally in bliss "if only you would..." YOUR feet touch the ground too (don't make me knock you down - then you'd be sitting in poop - and that's REALLY disgusting - grin).

Here's what we did at the arboretum. Sometimes I'd hoist Little Princess up onto my shoulder and she'd squeal and we'd both laugh and she got to keep her feet poop-free. Other times we'd just trudge through the poop together. Sometimes she went her way and I went mine - and one or both of us ambled through poop. And sometimes we'd be able to walk around the poop - although that was rare, because - well, because that's the way it is.

My inspirational - woohoo - (and how the hell did I not "get" this sooner - lol) thought is: the "Why is it that emotional poop is unavoidable?" question is moot.  The real deal is - there's poop underfoot - even and often when we're in places of great beauty (literally and metaphorically) - and it's great to avoid when we can.

It's great to travel with a playful, squealing friend. Great to either hoist someone or be hoisted over the poop occasionally. And also - it's just fine to traipse through the poop. Life goes on. Isn't it a trip to look around and enjoy the beauty even if you're standing in poop?

(Photos copyright: Lauren Caterson 2008)