Square-Peg Reflections

MLB and Late Night TV

(subtitled: What the Phillies' losses have done to me!)

Last night I consoled myself (over yet another Philadelphia Phillies' loss) by plopping down on the sofa, snacking voraciously (which might not, owing to amount ingested, technically be "snacking"), and losing my channel-hopping virginity (I actually learned how to use the remote - and they said it couldn't be done!).

I hopped until maybe 3 A.M. And wow - there's a LOT I've been missing! Turns out there really is a reason I don't watch tv regularly (except for ball games and the occasional thing I'm coaxed into watching with someone*).

I saw Alec Baldwin (who I love in 30Rock!) on SNL. A gossip show (poor Kate and Jon - and those 8 - holy sh*! are you kidding me? - kids), and some he-killed-her-and-thought-he-got-away-with-it-but-they-got-his-ass-now show. Part of an infomercial that had bits of old shows in it, I swear I saw Mitzi Gaynor somewhere (who I used to think, when I was a kid, was so incredibly old and boring - now that I'm not a kid I should be so old and boring myself - sigh) and...well, like I said, I channel hopped - so I saw a little of everything.

But the most unbelievable thing I saw was a commercial (which is saying a LOT). Somewhere around 2 A.M. I heard the words: "inadequate eyelashes" and "FDA approved" in the same sentence. Or, I thought I did. Those words made me sit up straight and shake my head around a little. I wasn't sure if I was having a Tiramisu-induced hallucination.

Inadequate eyelashes?!? Medicine for inadequate eyelashes!?! Wow, maybe it was a bad idea to give up psychotherapy work. Imagine the tight little niche I could break ground in:  self-help for those plagued and shamed by inadequate eyelashes!!! Seriously? Inadequate eyelashes. Inadequate?!?

This morning, when the tiaramisu wore off, I did a Google search to double check. Yep. There's a product (FDA approved missy, so you know you're safe!) being huckstered sold for dealing with inadequate eyelashes. Hell, there's even a diagnostic name on the Latisse site: "Eyelash hypotrichosis is another name for having inadequate or not enough eyelashes."

I've been ranting all day about this. As if we need yet another thing to worry about: "Honey, do these earrings make my eyelashes look inadequate?" I'm very, very unhappy about the way we seem to suck this "you are NOT ok" stuff up - and we must be sucking it up - because someone is out there selling it (and they wouldn't waste their good bucks pulling us in if we were turning our back and laughing at them!). And let's not even talk about how NOT vital the whole subject is in relation to other things going on in the world!

And I blame all this ranting and growling on the Phillies - if they'd won that game I'd have gone to bed before 2 A.M. and I wouldn't even know that such an idiot-hole product existed.

*lest you worry about my ability to cope in today's world - without constant tv watching - I want to let you know that Manchild and Slightly-Brit keep me semi-informed of what's out there - and I hear things from friends - plus there is always the occasional You-tube video of a tv show that gets sent my way (like the Susan Boyle one). So - relax - I'll be ok, really! Although, the Phillies lost again today - and I'm out of Tiramisu, so maybe you should worry...

How To Annoy People

Almost guaranteed to work every time (hey, nothing's 100% guaranteed) ...

Switch between:

"That's what your momma said last night."
            and
"That's what I said to your momma last night."

in response to every statement (or question) made by those around you.

In an older episode of 30 Rock (or maybe it was in a couple older episodes - do you see how confused I am?!?) Liz Lemon says either: "That's what your momma said..." or "That's what I said to your momma...", but - since I can't remember which one it was - I switch between the two.

Apparently that makes it more annoying - or so goes the feedback I'm getting.

Obtuse Fortune Cookies

Last night we had Chinese food - and there are always fortune cookies tucked into the take-home sack...so, after dinner, we read our "fortunes".

I always look forward to reading my fortune-cookie fortune, but why? I haven't had an interesting one for years - I think the place where we get Chinese food buys their cookie inserts from the people who write instructions for putting things together - the people who make NO sense.

Slightly-Brit's read: Don't be afraid of opposition remember, a kite rises against the wind.

and mine said: A window of opportunity won't open itself.

(pssst... not like I am a grammar expert - hahahaha - but "opposition remember"...? Who'd be afraid of "opposition remember"??)

I "get" the point each makes - sort of...But, after my initial reaction - which was: "oh F*#! - more lame fortune cookies" the next thing in my mind was The Sphinx, from the movie Mystery Men.

The Sphinx said brilliant things like: "When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack."

Oh, and SB's fortune caused me to remember a Benny Hill episode where he sang about his homestead - "Passing Wind".

Note: the Mac dictionary/thesaurus lists "dumb-ass" as one of the synonyms for "obtuse" - and it would've been apt to title this post: Dumb-ass Fortune Cookies, but I was trying to be ?nice?

p.s. Eff the window of opportunity thing!

 

Thank Heaven for Little Girls

Actually, this is really a gratitude post about a grown-up girl - my eldest daughter - a.k.a. Slightly-British Daughter. So, Thank Heaven for grown-up girls!!!

For Easter, Slightly-Brit made me a mix tape. Complete with a gorgeous cover - she has a gift for presentation - she creates awesome stuff. And because we talked once about how she comes up with the songs she puts together on mix tapes (the process) - and she realized I like knowing that kind of thing, she made a wonderful booklet that slipped into the CD case.

The booklet contained not only a short note about each song, but also a little description/explanation of what she was going for with the whole CD. (Btw, The booklet is gorgeous too, where does she get this? I can barely tie a bow!) Here's a bit from the booklet, which I think you might get a hoot out of:

"This is meant to be a chirpy little Spring mix. Didn't exactly work. What I wanted was xylophones and bells, tinkling pianos, sugary harmonies and hand claps. Possibly ukuleles. Lots of bounce and sparkle. Think: new grass, tiny leaves, baby chicks and pale PINK!!"

She then names a Bishop Allen album that carries the Spring thing off and despairs of the mix tape she made not quite coming up to what she'd hoped for.

"This gets a bit heavy in the middle. Maybe it's a Spring day after 3 rain days, and there's lots of mud and it's a little too warm out. Hmm."

The CD is full of Spring-like - makes me happy to be alive - music (which works even though we are on day 3 of rain, mud and no sun). And two of the songs she picked were perfect for working in references (in her song-notes) to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (our very favorite, horrible dark humor TV show)!

Thank Heaven for grown-up girls! This one's made the stars shine from Day One (except for that short period around age 2 when she would bang her head on the floor when she didn't get her way - right around then I'd have sold her to gypsies - and look what I'd have missed!).

Young Moms: Let that be a lesson to you! Keep them through the head-banging days (yours and theirs) - you might be rewarded (I can't guarantee you a Slightly-Brit tho, she's pretty much one in a  trillion!).

I Sang with Josh Ritter

Really! I sang with Josh Ritter at the Sellersville Theater last night!!

I bet you're thinking this is an April Fool's trick - but nope, it's more of an exaggeration.  I DID sing with Josh Ritter last night at the Sellersville Theater, but so did the approximately 300 other folks in attendance. Josh treated us to a sing-along of "Empty Hearts". Awesome!

I've never been to a Josh Ritter concert before, so I didn't know what to expect - beyond excellent music and scintillating lyrics. I hadn't read any concert reviews either, until after the concert (duh! and ?). Sooooo I had no idea how much fun the concert would be. And, if I hadn't read those reviews after the concert, I'd have thought that the intimate atmosphere (approx. 300 seats) of the Sellersville Theater was the reason behind the fun - but I'd have been wrong.

Apparently Josh Ritter is quite the showman. That's what the reviews say - and that was my experience last night. His band was fantastic, they looked to be enjoying the concert as much as the audience.  And the music!

And I'm not complaining here - merely noting: I don't think I've ever seen (with the exception of an orchestra) musicians in suits until last night! Suits! With ties! Really, I'm not complaining (though I would surely have been doing so if I were asked to wear a suit and tie -  while performing - particularly while performing a one-legged pogo stick dance*, as Mr. Ritter did so often during the show) but suits??? Ok, a little bit complaining - I'm a 70's gal and suits seem so restrictive. But, hey, nobody asked ME to wear one - so it's not really my problem, is it?

What a great concert! New songs, old songs - fantastic repartee and such a great connection with the audience. And then the usual Square-Peg kind of experiences - from where I sat the lighting, shadows, etc. caused Josh's strumming hand to look like a wolf-man paw. So I was intrigued with that for awhile.

Then I was giggling to myself over his enormous (face-swallowing) smile - which was absolutely identical to the one Brad Pitt wore as gym attendant, Chad Feldheimer, in Burn After Reading (when he meets with Osbourne Cox and is so excited about the money he thinks he'll get, but keeps remembering that he wants to look serious - or dangerous - or something - so he reins the face-swallowing smile in and squints.) - 'cept Josh Ritter kept smiling.

Excellent concert - I'd have expected that if I'd read the reviews - I'd do that again in a hearbeat!!

*this was done without an actual pogo stick! Often!! One-legged - really interesting - incredible energy!!

Beauty in the Dark

Today was a pouty day - no Little Princess (it's time for our 2-day visit) - no call, no way to get in touch - sigh! I have no way of knowing when I'll hear, or when/if she'll get to visit next - so I was pretty bummed.

I decided to hop over to Brené Brown's blog, Ordinary Courage, because I needed one of the  transfusions of  hope and openness she seems to give in her writing. Today was no exception. I read a post and came away feeling better - ready to do something different - ready to get out of the rut of fear and sadness.

I checked with Slightly-Brit and Manchild, and they were up for a ride - so we took a long drive by the river - lovely. And we listened to The Raconteurs loud - which is always a joy. "Carolina Drama" makes me laugh, and the music in all the songs is top shelf!

Funny, I've mentioned music (and it's ability to change your world) about 6,000 times lately - and it's Slightly-Brit who's the High Priestess of Music, not me...

The point of this post was not what I've been doing today - though of course one must please the public (yes, I'm kidding!). The point was to point you to Brené Brown's blog post because it's an opportunity - she's considering doing a read-through of her beyond awesome book I Thought It Was Just Me on the blog, and has asked for input about whether people are interested.

If you've ever dealt with shame (that's all of us!) then you'll probably be interested! Plus, in the post, she talks about how things went for her related to the publishing of the book. Interesting reading even if you are only interested in hearing about the publishing world. But particularly interesting for reading how Brené dealt with her feelings related to the ups and downs of publishing the book. Go look!

In Love

I've been in love with the world for days (which started the morning after I got hit with two hard, hard - let me repeat - hard situations) - go figure.

Hit #1 was financial - argh - stuff we're all dealing with. After hit #1 I watched a glorious movie called Once with Slightly-Brit!! Then there was hit #2. Relational! Gulp, breathe. Ohmy!

I went to bed and watched another lovely movie. Manchild was away and told me I could use his cool little DVD player - so I watched Before Sunset.

In neither movie did girl get boy (or vice versa) - they were love stories that were bigger than that. The kind that usually get me snippy. I like my love stories to end with the traditional happy ending (I rarely watch that kind of movie anyway - snide snarly face - so when I do - well, it's only fair that they end "right").

But neither did and I could not have been happier! I guess I was tapped into something bigger than life-is-all-about-couples.

The music from Once (Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová) has stayed in my mind since that night. I help it along a bit by playing the CD constantly.

The songs run through my mind even on the rare occasion when I am not playing the CD, at which point I can be heard singing a cappella - which is probably scary.

All this to say - maybe it's not just music that can save your life (sanity, good-heartedness), maybe movies can, too - maybe everything/anything beautiful!

There's a line in the lyrics of "Falling Slowly", one of the songs from Once - that goes:

"Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now"

It sounds trite to me here, without the music, but it feels so big and important - vital - when they sing it. You're so lucky I don't know how to stick audio in the blog yet - we'd be having a Square-Peg "Tunes for the Tone-Deaf" session right now - I'd sing these lyrics to you.

I can't swear this'll work for everyone, but if you're bummed you might try to watch Once - something in the personalities of the characters, and the beauty of the music is good for the heart.

Music Heals

and inspires, touches and changes us. I remember watching Robin Williams in Awakenings, the  film based on the book by Oliver Sacks - as he and his staff hunted down the one song, specific to each patient, that resonated with them at core, that brought them alive.

I don't know what my one song is, I love so many. Recently I told a friend that Imagine, by The Turtles, was one of my absolute favorites (I'd just heard it again while watching Shrek with Little Princess). It's a little embarrassing because it's not very sophisticated, but also because I have no idea why it goes straight to my heart - I have no history with the song except that it was around when I was young - but so were plenty of other songs.

While writing this I realized that my one song (if I'm ever forced to pick) would be whatever I'm listening to at the moment. I fall in love with music. And, if I were to need musical resuscitation, any number of pieces would re-awaken me - different ones would revive different parts of me.

Today I needed to find quotes for some things I'm working on. Julia Cameron's books are always filled with wonderful quotes, so I pulled The Vein of Gold off the shelf and found something I don't even remember reading - a fantastic section called "The Kingdom of Sound".

I found terrific quotes in the book (as always), but these (below) don't fit with my other project - yet I have to share them - so, here they are:

Great music can bring many kinds of solutions. It can help you to repair broken relationships and inspire you to build new ones.
  Hal A. Lingerman

What will nurture the creative vision necessary to turn around a world possibly heading towards its own destruction? Music.
  Lorin Hollander

The man that hath no music
   in himself
Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds...
Let no such man be trusted
  William Shakespeare

Music is the answer to the mystery of life; it is the most profound of all the arts; it expressed the deepest thoughts of life and being; a simple language which nonetheless cannot be translated.
  Arthur Schopenhauer

Rock on! (or waltz on, or...whatever makes you sing).

Mismatched Socks

Last night Slightly-Brit, Manchild and I went to the Kimmel Center to hear Rufus and Martha Wainwright. Fantastic!!

The wicked cool Alfred James Band was playing in the lobby when we got there - what an unexpected pleasure (guess who didn't even know that the Kimmel has music happening in the lobby before the show?). You can check them out at the Alfred James Band site - where you can hear some of their awesome music. Though - ahem ahem - the site could use some personalization - I'd love to know a bit about the members, like even their names.

The band is labeled a "cello-driven acoustic rock group", further press states: "James is the only cellist in the entire world who plays a five-string carbon fiber cello standing up!" Whatever. What I can tell you - with my less than a thimble full of musical knowledge is - the female vocalist has a hauntingly beautiful voice, the cellist and violinist did a dueling strings bit that near knocked me over, and I can't wait to get their CD from CD Baby (yeah, might have gotten it last night - but it didn't occur to me - sigh).

What's this got to do with mismatched sock? Um, not much. Except I wore a pair of mismatched socks to the concert. One dark grey and one a muted mid-blue color.

I hadn't expected to wear socks since I was wearing cute dress shoes, but my feet kept sliding around in the shoes with only stockings on, so I decided - what the hell - I'll put on socks. I grabbed two socks (see, I avoided using the term "a pair") and they kept my feet from sliding - and there you go - comfy.

Didn't matter to me about the color mismatch because I was wearing jeans. I noticed that my cute dress shoes had cut outs, but really - people have got much better things to do than look at my feet.

Luckily I didn't mention the socks to Slightly-Brit until we were already there, because she did not take it well. If I'd told her earlier I think she'd have begged me to go home - or at least to a store that sold socks.

Slightly-Brit told me that she would be uncomfortable wearing mismatched socks around the house - with no one home!  I've got about 9 (had lots more, but with the decluttering going on I tossed some since I rarely wear them) socks, and they are all different. I don't even buy socks - barely wear them (didn't I just say that? - wow - boring and repetitious) - so how do I wind up with 9 mismatched socks? A mystery...

So now I'm wondering which is the more common take on sock matching -  not giving a rat's ass or judicious concern?

(cute feet in matching socks belong to Wendy)

Photo copyright Wendy Lee Llynds, 2008

What Will YOU Celebrate?

"What will you celebrate?" - the jelly jar in the pile of dirty dishes asks today (Ok, not literally - jelly jars are quiet these days). The label on the jelly jar said: "What will you celebrate?" (no, no, no - we've been through that - the label didn't speak either. I read the words!)

We certainly won't be celebrating the Better Homes and Gardens award - it'll be canceled now due to the dirty dishes comment.

Aside: There are an awful lot of dirty dishes in our kitchen at the moment. We go along being fairly tidy most days. Not because everyone cleans up after themselves - we seem to be allergic to that. But because one of us or another (quite often "another" - quite, quite often "another") tidies up. Then one of us or another gets sick of it and doesn't bother. And the mess builds up. Then the next one comes up to bat. Odd system. Square-Peg system (or possibly it's a lack of system...which I think is a Square-Peg system of sorts).

Back to the point - what will YOU be celebrating? I'd love to know! When the jelly jar raised the question (oh, right - when the jelly jar figuratively raised the question - or is that: raised the question figuratively? hmmm...) - it was connected to a Disney World ad. But who needs to go away to celebrate?

Around here we've been known to celebrate odd holidays* or regular holidays in odd ways. Valentine's Day is the day we (oddly) celebrate by keeping watch for the Valentine's Man (you can read more about him here).

But - alas - (wouldn't it be fun to say "alas" at people for no reason in particular - right in the middle of "normal" conversation: "Ah, but alas - I do not agree." or "Yes, but alas, you're standing on my f*@#ing foot!"??) this year we're not looking for the Valentine's Man.

Manchild is a vegan now. I need raw food smoothies, not candy (thank you, thank you, thank you, Giselle - for giving me raw food how-tos!!). And Slightly-Brit is excited about the Rufus Wainright concert we're going to tonight. So - no Valentine Man this year (though I have an idea he'll be back - once I learn some vegan candy making).

Today - and more so tonight - we'll be celebrating music. Slightly-Brit celebrates music everyday - she might even be a musicaholic. I'm glad for it because she has opened my eyes (ears, actually) to so many incredible musicians. Not Rufus though. A client - many, many moons ago - told me about Rufus - who is now one of Slightly-Brit's favorites.

I think I want to ask this question frequently - to myself and to YOU. Especially in light of the tremendous "stuff' we all go through - the hard things, the dark side of life - it seems important to stop OFTEN and say: "Ok, what are you going to celebrate today?"

So ~

What are YOU going to celebrate today?????

* My personal favorite is Wumpledinger's Day, which is - obviously - on May 30th. Mark your calendars - I'll be back on May 30th for the absolutely final word on the history of that celebration (provided I remember). Well, I'll be back before then, but I'm hoping to give a definitive history of Wumpledinger's Day on the day itself.

Photo copyright Karen Caterson, 2009 - is a badly done scan of stained glass heart I made about 20 years ago