"Life Coach, Writer, Lighthouse"
Dian has wisdom beyond her years. You can read it in her writing and feel it in the different programs, offerings and resources she shares.
I love Dian's humor, her desire to help people "to just be themselves", her insistence on facing your feelings (really facing them - not to stare them down, but to meet them and learn from them). Plus she loves baseball - ohmy! - this is somebody you've got to meet!
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Before we got into the regular interview questions I asked Dian if she felt that the term Square-Peg fit for her, she said:
I like the idea of Square-Peg because it just does fit. For so many years I felt like I needed to fit someplace. I kept trying to fit myself in the round hole of society.
...some of that was in trying to be straight, some of that was pleasing other people and doing what was important to them...
It wasn't even forgetting about what was important to me - I had gone so long doing what other people deemed important that I didn't even know what was important to me.
I didn't realize it, but there was nothing wrong with me. I just needed to be my little Square-Peg self and not try to fit anywhere, but just to BE.
...not to even try to fit into a square hole - it's just about Be-ing the peg.
How do you see yourself as a Square-Peg?
I have a lot of life experience that most people don't - in the sense that I have experiences that a lot of people, individually, have had - but I've experienced all of them in one life.
...my mom's death, being molested, being verbally abused, being unpopular as a kid, getting arrested, having this troubled childhood, my grandmother's death - there's been a lot of death in my family, therapy...there are all these little things that a lot of people can relate to because they have one piece of that - I happen to have a lot of pieces of that. It makes me unique.
There are these pieces in my life that have happened - and I've learned how to not judge them. I've learned from them. I think that adds to the Square-Pegness.
...not resisting, not fighting - saying: "Ok, how do I move forward from this space instead of trying to stay in a space that doesn't exist?"
Part of it is that I did go through years of therapy. My mom died when I was 16 - from that point until maybe about 5 years ago I was in therapy for a good portion of the time...
and the piece about that that's important is: I was willing to learn. There are people who go to therapy and expect the therapist to fix them.
I think I always had some sort of knowing that there was nothing wrong with me, that I just needed to learn from what happened. I had that "Aha!" moment in therapy.
Being willing to learn is such a huge piece about being where I am.
How Do You Maintain Your Square-Pegness (in a round-hole world)?
A big piece of that has been becoming a coach. The program I went through was so rigorous and intense for me.
I've been working for maybe 10 years on myself in therapy and so on and so forth - to kind of be who I am. When I went through the coaching program it just clicked: to just BE who I am! That's how Authentic Realities came up.
In coaching, when I'm asking my clients to be who they are, it's a constant reminder to me to just be who I am.
I have my calendars that remind me to meditate, to be - but sometimes I fall out of that. It is some kind of work to remember that my only job, while I'm here - while I'm alive - is to just be me.
...so I try to find a way, every day, to remind myself of that.
I have little structures. I have a ring that I wear - on both sides it has an equality symbol...
It's from the HRC group - Human Rights Campaign. On one side there's the equal rights symbol - and it's kind of inset, the same color as the ring - silver. On the other side the background is black with a bright equal sign outlined in black.
When I look at this it's a reminder to me to trust myself and use my intuition.
To ask: "Do I need to just be and to blend in, or is this a time to speak out?"
I use meditating for creative energy and inner balance - sometimes I couple that with a bath. I've been running lately and that's been a huge release.
I feel like when I exercise I'm expending toxic energy to make room for creative energy.
What Has Been the Hardest For You as a Square-Peg?
I think sometimes there's a sense of responsibility that feels weighty. Sometimes you see people go through their lives and they just meander along and don't fulfill their purpose - and it doesn't seem to bother them...
Sometimes that responsibility (when I feel like it's a responsibility, instead of just being me) that's a difficult piece!
How do I carry this responsibility to be myself? Because in being myself I'm being a role model and guide for other people to do the same.
What Is Your Favorite Square-Peg Trait?
I think it's that piece of me that's willing to learn. 90 percent of the time I'm willing to learn. The other 10 - well, I'm human {laughing} - sometimes I want things to work the way I want them to work.
That wilingness to learn - it creates a space for everything else in my life. Because, in being willing to learn, comes embracing change. I don't remember who said it, but: "...the only thing that stays the same is that everything changes..."
What Are Your Favorite Books?
The Color Purple by Alice Walker. I've always felt a kinship to that book.I don't really know why - I'm not Black, I'm not from the south, I'm not descended from a slave or anything like that...but there's a humanness about the characters, and it's so well written. It really spoke to me.
I think the characters just can't help but grow by wanting to learn - by trusting that if something is not right they need to be out of that environment, need to change things up.
That book is a big piece of me. Alice Walker, in general, is a big piece of me - in my writing.
Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking was a really great book and it's been really helpful to me in writing my book.
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You can read more about "Authenticity & Coming Out Coach" Dian Reid - and check out her many offerings and resources at Authentic Realities.
*photo credit: NCM Photography
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Read more Square-Peg Interviews here!
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(Full Disclosure: we're affiliates of Amazon.com - so when you buy from the book links above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!)
