Bitchin' & Moanin' AND Praisin' on #reverb10

Despite thinking of myself as a reflective person and despite the rather large gap in my #reverb10 posts (the last one was December 13) I didn't realize, until today, that I'd opted out of writing #reverb10 posts - hello!

(In the post on December 13th I did mention being stuck, but I was actually referring to writing in general - not #reverb10)

On some days I told myself "I'll get back to it tomorrow" on others "I'll write a quick catch up post to combine all the ones I missed". But I never did - I never got back to writing #reverb10 posts. And below you'll find the reason - I had a gripe (or two). I wish I had noticed this before December 31 (the last day of #reverb10) - and shared my struggle here - sigh.

~ ~ ~

There's a big difference between last year's Best Of 09 blog challenge and this year's #reverb10 (or Reverb 10, if you'd rather).

To explain further I'll need to delve into a little backstory:

Last year I met a woman who calls herself a personal historian; she helps people write stories about their lives for progeny. When we talked I told her I couldn't imagine asking the elders in my family to talk about their lives.

But, I was talking about getting my family to discuss BIG stuff (feelings and other sources of denial) while the lady was talking (she kindly explained) about gathering small bits of info - like: how many kids were in your class at school, Grandmother? or Where were you born, Uncle Festus?

From the small bits stories might bloom. Whereas going for the big stuff (like feelings), by asking questions such as: What was it like to move every time you made a new friend, Aunt Olivia? or Can you tell me how you handled being an outcast because of your stutter and elephantiasis, Grandpa? would be more likely to cause folks to shut down - and then - no stories!

(end of backstory)

The Best Of 09 prompts asked for the name of your favorite book, best packaging, favorite tea - the small stuff (and out of that many stories did bloom - and many friendships and acquaintances as well).

Reverb 10 prompts have mostly pushed us toward the big stuff. The kinds of things that, maybe, you'd talk about over a pot of tea - with a dear friend. Depending on the depth of friendship - and whether the tea was spiked.

They have not so much dealt with the small stuff - what you'd shout across the aisles in a convenience store when you spot Sally (whom you haven't seen in 5 or 6 years), the aide at the library who used to read to your (now adult) kids on Toddler Reading Day - and try to catch up on the intervening years.

It's hard to go deep when you've had no real introduction (nope, I do not consider the Amazon link to an author's book an actual introduction - more on that later) and you're offered a short (couple-sentence) set of instructions.

I was waxing lyrical* about this to Slightly-British Daughter when she reminded me that I adore talking or writing about feelings and deep shit - and asking after others' feelings and deep shit (if the friendship is of a certain depth and the tea's spiked) - and rarely need to be coaxed into it.

So why was I bitchin and moanin about #reverb10 prompts (she asked)?

I wasn't, actually. I was just saying that you have to be a pretty skilled writer to leap into the deep end of the writing pool (remember the lesson from the backstory? You get to story (to depth) easier when you start with something small and specific).

*(For the record: I wasn't WAXing in any literal manner - while discussing #reverb10. Ew. I was chatting excitedly.)

As a #reverb10 crew member I've been pretty diligent in searching for, reading and commenting on people's responses to the prompts. And what I said above (about having to be a pretty skilled writer to leap into the deep end of the pool) has proven true in my readings. It's been hard to find engaging writing (not to say there was no engaging writing, just that it was harder to find than last year).

The bloggers who've taken the prompts and ran with them (oops, I mean swam with them - don't want to lose the delightful pool metaphor) are gifted writers - they shine, and I'll be eternally grateful (praise! praise!) to #reverb10 for introducing me to a number of incredible new (to me) writers/blogs.

For the general blog writing public, though - it seems like the water's too deep. There's been no chance to acclimate - it's "here's the high dive, now leap!" Which has led to some flailing (writing wise).

Last year's prompts elicited better writing - the kind that drew me to explore people's blogs. I'd read a Best Of 09 post and want to see what else the writer had to say. I'd hang around.

This year there have been many times when I've read a Reverb 10 post through and left the blog (ne'er to return). One "off" post (the kind that, keeping with the pool deal, seems to need a life preserver) and I don't look further. And there goes the opportunity for getting to know the writer better - forming an acquaintance or friendship.

It's not that the prompts were bad (necessarily), just that they were too much, too quickly for a lot of folks. It seems that the majority of bloggers do better writing when they start from a small, specific prompt.

And now I'll bitch about the Amazon thing. Why couldn't we have been treated to the author's blog or site links instead of their Amazon link?

This felt worse than used-car salesman strategy. It was like being accosted by the guy in the raincoat who flashes his coat open (no, not that guy!) to expose his wares and ask: Wanna buy a watch?

No, thank you! - or, if it's been a bad day: No, fuck you! Because really! - more of that too much, too quickly stuff. For starters - who are you?

All in all, this year it was harder to find good writing. BUT, there was some writerly brilliance that I'm glad to have found through #reverb10 (including a few new-to-me wildly incredible writers who mindfully took themselves out of the pool early on - but not before I bookmarked them!).

There were also re-finds: bloggers whose writing I'd learned to love last year (but failed to bookmark!) and the general fun of a big gathering. I'm grateful for all that - and for the work that our #reverb10 fairy godmother, Jeanne - and #reverb10 HQ - put into the experiment!

Despite my bitchin' and moanin' I truly look forward to the 2011 version.

And now for that spiked tea...

Comments

[Kylie]

Karen - thank you for putting into words what I've been thinking. My last #reverb10 post was probably a couple weeks ago, too. I didn't even really give much thought to why I stopped; I just realized that some of the magic from last year was gone, and I made the choice to disengage.

I think your observation that this year's prompts were sudden in their depth is apt. They often felt too heavy and significant, whereas last year's seemed light and playful (but had the opportunity to go deeper if the author felt called to go that way).

It might also be that I just don't like doing what everyone else is doing. I don't buy the latest gadgets or read the popular books or wear the most-worn clothes specifically because I want to be different. And this year, it felt like everyone was doing #reverb10. I guess some of the intimacy was lost, or it seemed that way to me.

Still, you're right, it was a good chance to connect (and re-connect) with some great people. I'm glad to have been a part of it. Thanks for sharing your insights.

[Gwen Bell]

Thanks for the feedback, Karen. It's well taken.

I want to give you a little insight into where #reverb10 came from - in comparison to #best09.

Last year for #best09 I wrote all the prompts in an afternoon sitting in a cafe, chatting with my friend Brandon. I put up a link list on a whim. I didn't expect it to hit nearly 1k participants.

This year, for #reverb10 I worked with Cali and the authors to lightly edit the prompts they wrote. The authors chose the direction of the project by writing their own prompts. Next year, I'd like each author to do as Molly O'Neill did today and write about why they chose the prompt they did.

But again, you put it out there and iterate on it, you know? Just as #best09 took a different direction than #reverb10. Heck, #reverb10 went so deep I started asking different questions - and stopped sharing my responses publicly. That's ok. That's an acceptable response to the project. Journal offline. Switch up the prompt. Unsubscribe from the daily email if it gets under your skin. It's all opt-in, opt-out.

I'm proud of the way the project evolved. I'm proud (to tears) of my team. I'm grateful to the authors who wrote the prompts. And I'm beyond proud of this community - including you - for sharing your hearts this December in whatever way you decided to do it.

If there was anything about the project you didn't like, I take full responsibility for it.

If there was anything about the project you loved, it's thanks to the community.

Happy reverberating in the year ahead.

[Vanillavia]

I've had mixed feelings about #reverb10 too. If I had to choose between #reverb10 and #bestof09, I loved the latter more. Having said that, #reverb10 has been insightful, now I've done all 31 posts and can look back, in a way I didn't expect and has highlighted some themes that have been recurring for me.

My greatest disappointment was that some of the prompts seemed to overlap - now this could be a personal thing as I had a specific pivotal moment which featured in many of my posts. Maybe 2011 #review11 could be prompted by this year's #reverb10 participants ...

I had more fun with #bestof09 but that perhaps also reflected the type of year that it was, whereas 2010 has, for many people I know, been linked to less lighthearted themes.

Despite all of the above, I am pleased to have taken part in #reverb10, to have stuck to my guns in being determined to complete all 31 posts and recognise the huge commitment of time and effort that managing a project like this takes.

[amanda]

I wasn't part of last year's project, but I did expect that some of the prompts would be a little less...deep...and more fun...I dunno...like, what was your favorite movie? or book? or whatever...I did enjoy and pushed through every prompt, and, as a crew member like yourself, I found some really great blogs to follow in the new year. This was a really interesting read.

[Laura]

I, too, had mixed feelings about the reverb10 prompts. For me, however, I think it was more so that I was coming off a 30 day series on my blog in November so I think by about the middle of December I was ready to stop having something set to write about daily. I am glad I followed through with all 31 posts but am looking forward to blogging with no set purpose, except to share what's on my mind or what I did that day, starting tomorrow!

[Crysta]

This was my first year, and I had a lot of the same feedback. There was so much overlap that I wondered if anyone had read through the entire list as a whole beforehand. While some of the deep ones were good and thought provoking, when faced with essentially the same question for the third time, there's not much else to say. I liked prompts like the "11 things I can do without" because they're really thought-provoking and easier to access. I would have liked a mix of a few deep ones, a few lists/favorites/least favorites and maybe a couple more random, "fun" prompts, all mixed together. I'm glad I stuck with it, but from mid-December on, it's been rough going.

[elisavetmarika]

I think my writing has sucked during Reverb 10. The blog I'm using is new, and I have been dreadfully self-conscious. I agree that trying to respond to such "big" questions was rather terrifying. The tenor of the prompts opened up some old wounds and prejudices of mine, too. Still, I have been thinking about some things. Not happily, not positively, but productively.

You are lovely, and I'm glad to have discovered you even if it turns out that I was either a one-hit wonder or you a complete flop. I'll continue to read you (when I have time).

[Stereo]

Awesome post, Karen and you put so eloquently into words what I tried to and failed (usually dissolving into letting forth a string of expletives). While I'm glad I took part in reverb10, I'm undecided whether or not I'll be back for reverb11. I know the point was to make us examine ourselves and our lives and answer the big questions but I have felt a little harried when trying to answer some of the prompts.

However, reverb10 did lead me to you and that in itself makes up for any shortcomings :)

Happy 2011, Karen!

[Alana]

I love the way your mind works. Your observation of the differences is bang on. I guess I was lucky in that I didn't have a lot of time to browse blogs so followed those who came before me (like whollyjeanne) whose opinions I love and trust.
I'll be interested to see what happens next year...
Happy New Year to you!

[mark]

I did not participate in this last year. I came close to bowing out due to what I viewed as either repetitive or borderline silly questions (December 8's in particular was downright goofy for me) and I realized that I was one of the few men participating in this. That in the blogosphere, men don't usually participate in "this sort of thing." Nor did I feel particularly encouraged as a man to continue to do so. There were far too many "touchy-feely " questions , but I am proud of the fact that I soldiered on, did 30/31 and made a few friends.

[Account Deleted]

I am generally one who can jump in the deep end quickly, but I found myself thinking through each day's prompts privately. I just didn't want to share all of that. I did enjoy reading the prompts though and absolutely understand your frustration.

[yvette]

I drifted into Reverb10 without any history - I must have clicked a link on a blog I visit. The idea sounded great and I dove in with pleasure. I even stuck it out til the end. But it wasn't the joyful experience I was expecting.

The prompts - from my perspective - felt a little negative and sometimes repetitive. Also, they seemed very 20-something orientated (I am 47) and sometimes that just meant I couldn't get into the prompt. I felt I had been there, done that and moved on long ago.

The project did get me back into regular blogging and a couple helped me journal something I wanted to share. But mostly, I was just going through the motions.

I was also disappointed by the links - I wanted to know who the people were: I knew a few already, but felt cheated of the chance to meet others, rather than just see what they had to sell.

[Dian Reid]

I f***ing love you, my favorite little square peg! I've been trying to put my finger on exactly what's been different about this year than last, and you touch on it so perfectly. I've been struggling with a way to introduce some of these prompts and ease into "the goods" but I really haven't wanted to spend the time on it. Part of that has me realizing a need for being in the present moment and accepting what is, rather than always the need for reflection. And part of that has been the realization that some these prompts have me digging so deep that it's just too raw to share. While I aim to be authentic in my writing, some things are just too personal, and I don't need to share EVERYTHING in the name of my authentic realities. In that sense, #reverb10 has helped me grow and I'm grateful.

Then there's that feeling we have about our first love that no one can ever live up to. I feel like that about #best09 and the connections created as a result of participation. No end-of-year challenge will live up to #best09. And I shouldn't expect it to.

As for the Amazon links. Amen. I don't want to know what the authors have to sell, I want to know who they are. Luckily I was familiar with some, but unfortunately for the others, I didn't feel like digging any deeper. Maybe I will, now that I get why I didn't.

Thanks for this post, my friend. You absolutely ROCK. I mean like CLASSIC ROCK, not this pop-punk-pansy bullshit they call rock these days. I mean, like bitchin square peg rock.

[Kim]

I'm so glad I found the link to this post on Twitter today.

As a crew member, I felt exponentially worse for bowing out. But when the prompts started to re-tread the same subjects over and over, I felt... less somehow. As if my year hadn't had enough to fill it properly if I couldn't write about enough different things to make each post unique. And then, I kept going through the sign-up list to comment on blogs, only to find that so many writers had quit after day three or day five.

As for the quality of writing, that's always subjective, but I do know of a lot of people I never came back to just because I felt there were so many other people who were getting no comments at all. As the list of participants grew and grew, I felt bad for everyone who was writing and still not being heard. I love the people who became good friends during this project, but I had hoped to make more people feel included.

In the end, it was taking energy away from my manuscript. I had to stop. But I still want to be a part of what it becomes this year, because I feel like there's good energy around the project, and if there's a way for it to feel a little less enormous, I think more people will be happier. I certainly will be. There are so many people I would never have met without it.

[Square-Peg Karen]

Thank you all for your comments on this post -- I was a bit iffy about sharing it, but now I'm glad I did! Applause for all you who went through the whole 31 days - and hurrah for the opportunity (again) to meet some wonderful folks!