I went into the TDF Zone the other day: Tripping over things, Dropping things, Forgetting things - everything.
It started with a few of these: drop this (& that), trip over it (or them) - then forget what I got this and/or that out for in the first place. #@!%&*!
Next there were a couple rounds of: head downstairs, trip over doorsill, trip over rug, trip over my own feet, drop something on the way downstairs, get down the stairs and realize I forgot something I will need, drop something else, head back up (but not before tripping over another something else) #@!%&*! -
and then there were mixed variations of the same theme - it was total TDF Zone!
I probably should've tripped down the hall and dropped myself into a dark room somewhere (for safety sake), but I needed to get to the post office to mail a couple Easter bunny packages and a few letters. Plus there were some items I needed to grab from the store - so off I went.
Well, not immediately. First I dropped the car keys a couple times, dropped 3 of the 5 pieces of mail (one piece at a time - so 3 separate droppings), got out to the car and realized I'd forgotten the list...(there was more, but you get the picture) #@!%&*!.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I was feeling sad (does sadness make everybody clumsy, or is it just me?). I might've noticed the sadness when I had a near melt-down over what to put in the Easter packages I was mailing (because, really - how important is Pez dispenser placement?). I also might have noticed the sadness in my sighs -- my continuous sighs (a sure sign!). But I didn't.
I pulled into the post office parking lot and headed for the door (after dropping a package, getting knotted up in the strap of my purse and hitting my shins on the car door). Grumble, grumble. The question: What else can go wrong? rumbled around in my head. #@!%&*!
When I got knotted up with the purse strap I'd decided not to tempt fate - why struggle with a wallet in the post office when I could take cash - so I stuck cash in my pocket. While waiting for the (very pleasant) postal clerk to weigh one of my packages I pulled the $20 bill out of my jeans pocket. It was a folded-over, mangled mess. #@!%&*!
I began to smooth the bill out and ripped it in half! #@!%&*! Completely in half, not a little rip. I felt embarrassed (and clumsy), I could feel myself starting to turn red. Now what?
I asked the clerk: "Do you guys take this?" (pointing to the ripped money and figuring I was going to have to go to the bank for a replacement) - she said: "Sure, sure - we tape this." (See, I told you she was very pleasant - even if she doesn't hear so well).
The very pleasant postal clerk proceeded to tape up my ripped money, tally my charges and hand me some change. I went back to the car, still feeling a little embarrassed, but anxious to get home and tell Slightly-British Daughter about my cash-ripping adventure (she's a great audience).
While I was telling her I started to laugh. I remembered something Little Princess (granddaughter) said years ago that's become an oft-repeated family favorite. When someone tripped (must've been a TDF Zone day) Little Princess burst out laughing (she was probably about 4 y/o - didn't have the false-face social graces perfected yet) and, when she got "the look" she said: "Well, it was kinda funny!" (which it was!).
When I started laughing about the ripped $20 dollar bill I noticed my sadness. Actually, what I noticed was my sadness losing its grip (hadn't even known it was there - but I was sure aware of it moving). I realized that Laughter could kick some TDF Zone ass!
In an earlier post - On Relaxation - or the Lack Thereof I wrote about how 3 things: music, movement and noticing the breath, help me relax and ground myself (self-care). Laughter is another one of those tools.
So I started to think of building a Love Thyself (self-care) toolbox! Because really - I need all the help I can get remembering self-care (I bet we all do) - and metaphors help!
Remembering our tools (and using them) - maybe even before we get into a TDF Zone kinda day - sounds like a good idea, right?
Thus far I've got Movement, Music and Muahaha (meaning Laughter, but - you know, I'm trying to run some alliteration here) and Breath in my self-care toolbox.
What's in YOUR self-care toolbox?
My favorite self-care toolbox item is probably Lying Down Horizontally, as weird as that may sound. Sometimes it's to nap, but often it has nothing to do with tiredness--it just feels SO good to stretch out and have my body supported everywhere. It's good for the circulation, too--your blood gets a short break from having to work against gravity.
I also like to use fragrances. I don't go for the flowery or fruity ones as much, but I like spicy and--can you describe a scent as "savory"/ Anyway, my favorites are vanilla, cinnamon, and coffee. No pun intended (well, okay, yes it is), but the rich, earthy aroma of coffee really, erm, grounds me.
Posted by: Michelle Russell | Sunday, 24 April 2011 at 03:35 PM
"music, movement and muahaha" - I love it. I would add meditation, mantra and massage. And breath, yes. Too bad it doesn't start with an "m".
Posted by: Alana | Monday, 25 April 2011 at 01:47 AM
I'm not sure why, but Lying Down Horizontally (with the caps) made me giggle. I adore lying down horizontally - and like you said, not just for naps (tho I never thought about how doing so gives the blood a little break).
What you said about having your "body supported everywhere" is brilliant! So true - and something I don't often remember. But when I do - ohhhhh! that feeling -- noticing that I don't have to do anything - and am supported RIGHT THERE. So glad you mentioned that, Michelle - I'm going to remember to pay attention to that the next time (soon!) I do my Lying Down Horizontally!
hahaha - your coffee grounds pun got me giggling. So glad to "see" you!!!
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Monday, 25 April 2011 at 12:20 PM
Hi Alana - waving!!
Really - too bad about that breath word - would've been perfect if it started with an "m"!! I love your additions - meditation, mantra and massage, thank you.
I'm picturing some kind of Sesame Street toolbox thing -- and we've got the day that's brought to you by the letter M covered- grin.
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Monday, 25 April 2011 at 12:24 PM
Great post! Yes, I do get very clumsy when I've got emotional stuff going on. Hurting myself or ruining or breaking some item does seem to add insult to injury.
One of my self-care refuges is a warm bath with Epsom salts and lavender essential oil. If I'm feeling a build-up of negative stuff, that usually clears it.
Another one is sleep. Being an insomniac, I value sleep as one of the greatest gifts in life. After a period of insomnia, when I can finally sleep again, I let myself sleep as long as I need to - even if that's till 10:30 like it was this morning. I never schedule appointments before 11 a.m. - that's part of my self-care.
Posted by: Milliver's Travels | Monday, 25 April 2011 at 05:39 PM
Milli, I recently learned that salt pulls certain kinds of energy away from us - and is great for clearing out negatives (I'm pretty sure it was Bridget Pilloud who told me - and gave me a scientific kind of explanation, which I've forgotten - sigh). Way cool info!
And sleep - yes, what a balm (and gift, as you mentioned). I love the grace in your self-care - the way that, when you "finally sleep again" you give yourself whatever time you need. Beautiful!!
Thanks for commenting!!
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Tuesday, 26 April 2011 at 12:08 PM
I feel in very good company here, because most of my self-care tricks are mentioned. Music for sure, and lying down (with bathtub and Epsom salt or with a pile of bubbles), yoga (for movement and breathing). I also seek comfort in the familiar. Maybe a book I've read a dozen times, or a movie I know all the words to... something that feels a part of a past Kim. Past Kims always make me feel very good about Present Kim.
Posted by: Kim | Tuesday, 26 April 2011 at 05:37 PM
Thanks for the comment, Kim -- you know, I never thought of watching movies I know by heart as a self-care tool, but it IS! So glad you mentioned that
..."comfort in the familiar" - Yes, Yes!!
So glad you feel "in very good company here" - makes me smile! Good company with good self-care tools-awesome!
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Tuesday, 26 April 2011 at 06:34 PM
Hi Karen,
Great idea for a love thyself toolbox. I can see it in front of me, decorated all purty.
You have to laugh at life. We don't know why we're even here, yet most of the time we run around in a complete panic trying to follow the blueprint someone shoved in our little hands at birth.
Ugh.
Too funny ripping the money. Thank God for tape.
My tool box has lots of quotes in it, some written by "famous" folks, others by me. Quotes have gotten me through some whacky times. Karaoke discs. I just start to sing. My sneakers for a walk to clear my head. And two cats that do goofy things to laugh at.
Fun! G.
Posted by: Giulietta the Muse | Tuesday, 26 April 2011 at 08:27 PM
Quotes, Giulietta - I forgot quotes. Always swore I'd write them on the doors and walls like Salinger's Glass boys, but I never did. Sneakers and cats, yeah - I can see those. But karaoke is one I would never have thought of - way cool.
Thanks for sharing!!!
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Wednesday, 27 April 2011 at 10:04 AM
Karen am highly uplifted by this post.We share similar thoughts on self healing.Actually am working on similar post which i will blog very soon.Keep up with this great work.God bless.Meanwhile plz do check my blog on freeing your mind read it,follow,be inspired and comment to improve my works too.Have a wonderful day.
EBENEZER
Posted by: Ebenezer Adokwei | Thursday, 28 April 2011 at 01:26 PM
Glad you were uplifted by the post, Ebenezer & I'm going to ponder the term self healing that you used - not sure I'm comfortable with it, but self-CARE - that I'm comfy with.
Thanks for commenting!
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Thursday, 28 April 2011 at 06:10 PM
Hi Karen,
I arrived here via your post on needing to go to the ocean, and taking a bath instead. I use the things in your toolbox, plus (especially) a good bath - either with a lavender salt scrub or a wonderful bubble bath.
Your comment about not noticing you were sad until you laughed really made me pause. It is so true that sometimes we don't know where we are until something gives us a chance to stand somewhere else, even if only for a moment. A good question can do that, so of course questions and curiosity are in my toolbox too.
Posted by: Susan T. Blake | Friday, 30 March 2012 at 12:29 PM
Yea for good questions (and, of course for curiosity), Susan!
I'm glad to "see" you here - and I really like what you wrote: "sometimes we don't know where we are until something gives us a chance to stand somewhere else..." - now you've got me pausing (and pondering). Thanks!
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Monday, 02 April 2012 at 01:53 PM
I was so glad to see this post this morning, as I have a huge case of the sads right now - mixed with weary discouragement. And it can be such that I don't even want to love or pick myself up - somehow it just feels better to wallow. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Or maybe letting myself get to the bottom of the pit to see what's really there is the best form of self-love I can perform. I am seeing a Very Large Question down there, that I'm not sure I can answer, but at least I know there's some kind of longing at the heart of it. (sigh) Thank you, Karen.
Posted by: Gina | Wednesday, 20 March 2013 at 11:45 AM
Oh, I hear you Gina - the sads can be SO heavy!
I love the curiosity you show here - allowing yourself the possibility of going to the bottom of the pit to see what's there - but also wondering if that's the best " form of self-love..."
It's hard to figure out when to wallow and when to do something else (for me, anyway) - sometimes I've found ways to pull out of a wallow - and then occasionally I've just gone and wallowed and found that the whole discouragement thing had a short life span and went somewhere more fun when it got tired of me (grin).
Thank YOU, Gina - for coming here and commenting right in the middle of your sads (that's a big deal and I bow to you!). Sending virtual hugs and some excitement to wrap around that longing (longing can be so energizing!
Posted by: Square-Peg Karen | Wednesday, 20 March 2013 at 07:56 PM