Interview with Angel Fortney Sullivan

 

"soulful, simple website creator "

 

I adore Angel Sullivan! She's honest and deep - and seems to have a built-in b.s. detector. She's funny - and fun (those traits don't always hang out together) - plus she has an open and gorgeous heart!

 

If you don't already know Angel, I'd like to introduce you - she's a treasure. And if you have had the pleasure of meeting the lovely Angel Sullivan, I think you'll enjoy her take on the Square-Peg life!

 

 

How Do You See Yourself as a Square-Peg?

 

I was thinking about this one this morning and part of me was like: {using a snarly voice} "You are so NOT a Square-Peg!" 

 

That's my internal critic - the part of me that was saying: "You are such a peacekeeper, you are such a diplomat! You're not a Square-Peg." 

 

But the truth is, that even though I've learned to be a peacekeeper (based on my upbringing and my history and all that), I am very much a Square-Peg because I have my own ideas about how life ought to be and how I want to be in it!

 

Fairness and justice are really important to me; I have some pretty strong ideas about what's fair and what's not.

 

And I don't tend to fit in with a lot of "mainstream" people.

 

 

How Do You Maintain Your Square-Pegness?

 

That's one of my primary challenges right now!

 

I'm really seeing this - and part of my (I hate to use the word struggle, challenge is a better word maybe) challenge is to get back to that. 

 

I think I actually lost a lot of that. Not lost it, I think it's been buried under a lot of the bullshit - of trying to be what people need me to be - all the typical stuff that a lot of women feel.

 

So what I'm actively trying to do is - I'm getting back to writing. I kind of felt, for awhile there, that I lost my sense of self - and the ability to convey any of that in words.

 

I feel like that's coming back. And I think it's because I'm paying attention to it - I'm just doing it.

 

So there's been a ton, ton, ton of writing every day. Many times it's multiple times a day. And even if it's just using the note taking app on my phone - I'll do that. I just need to get something out before I forget, or because it's irking me - or whatever.

 

And then, my other interests. I'm totally what I think Barbara Sher calls a Scanner (somebody else uses the term Renaissance People) - I am so much that! If you were to ask me my interests I could probably go on for like 15 minutes.

 

I'm not one of those people who can say "I have painting, and that's what I always go back to because that's my thing." Painting is a thing, but it's just one thing.

 

There's a ton of stuff! I'm sitting here holding my black tourmaline - that's one of my things: crystals and stones, connection with the earth. And trees, I love trees. As much as I hate the heat here I love just sitting outside listening to the land and the trees. I love the feeling of just standing on the ground, the grass.

 

And then collage. I do this thing called Collage for Clarity. I love to do that especially when I'm feeling stuck, not clear, or when I feel so disconnected from all of me that I don't even know where to start.

 

For me, that's a real good place to start because I don't have to think about it. In fact it's better if I don't think. I just throw a bunch of images down on a big piece of poster board until it feels right, and then I write about it. That's it!

 

So those things. It just occurred to me that the common thread is that I've had to get really get good at listening, in the moment, to what I need. 

 

And then being able to just do it - or do something about it, as a way of honoring the listening and the hearing.

 

How is it that you tune in to yourself - how do the messages get to you?

 

I love that question, because I love the topic: I could talk about it for hours!

 

Again, I'm a Scanner - I have like a million ways to do this.

 

At the beginning of the year I chose my word and it was "notice". I wanted it to be a very active word, a verb rather than anything else.

 

I had a little, inexpensive necklace made that says "notice". So every morning I put it on, and I'm very conscious of why I had it made. It's a bit of a talisman for me. Just to draw my attention and energy back to the fact that I made that commitment for this year.

 

And then I do my *Touching Stillness. To me it's not meditation, it's different - touching the quiet, still place inside of me. I'm not perfect at it, I skip my days and I skip my weeks {laughing}, but I do it when I need it.

 

And I notice that when I've had that space and that stillness it's much easier to hear the kind of soft whispers (you know how they say: "your heart speaks in whispers"?).

 

It's also easier for me to see synchronicities or "coincidences" (although I don't believe in coincidences, I believe that it's life talking to me).

 

Through the day I'll get stressed out with something going on - pissed off at one of the kids, or my husband, or myself, and if I can catch myself, if I can notice in the moment that I'm kind of disconnected and ungrounded, and getting tangled up in my emotions and all of that, then - what if I go outside and sit?

 

 

What's Been the Hardest For You as a Square-Peg?

 

The sense of not belonging! I've always had this thing of not being good enough. It's shown up in various ways through the years, stronger at some times - it's always been there as this undercurrent.

 

And just feeling and seeing and sensing and knowing that I'm different from so many of my peers, people I grew up with, classmates, etc. -

 

knowing that I am and always have been a Square-Peg in so many ways, has always felt like a wedge added to the gap that's been there - this feeling of not good enough because I'm not like so and so and everybody else.

 

And you know, all of that has really been a challenge - and still something that I kinda fight with regularly. It doesn't feel good!

 

I did not realize in high school, and it probably wasn't until my mid to late 20s that I became aware - or started to be able to see that this {being different} is not something bad.

 

Before then it was always just pain - a recognition that I'm not like these other people and so I suck and I am this weirdo.

 

Then there was some sense of maybe there's something cool about not being like everybody else, maybe there's something worthwhile, maybe there's a redeeming quality.

 

 

What's Your Favorite Square-Peg Trait?

 

At first I was going to say: "I have no freaking clue!" - but that's not true, I do. So I started to think about what I most dislike in people and humanity - and that's closed mindedness.

 

So the opposite of that is open mindedness - a mental and emotion flexibility. To be able to have my own viewpoint, but still be able to hear other viewpoints, potentially conflicting view points, and not immediately dismiss them.

 

 

What Are Your Favorite Books?

 

I don't know where to start. Well, A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. She's the bomb, she's so smart! I made my teenager read that book. I ordered it because I wanted to have it here, it's so important!

 

Probably along the same lines, A Woman's Worth, same author.

 

And then, this is funny - Shel Silverstein's A Light in the Attic. I used to read through that book over and over and over; I've had it since I was probably 8 or 9.

 

I still have some of those poems memorized and I'll spout them off to the kids at a random time. They're so good - and so whimsical. I just love them!

 

LOOK at the video (below) where Angel shares her Shel Silverstein love (and the mind-bending thought that A Light in the Attic might just relate to business) - plus she shows us her "notice" necklace! See why I adore her?!?

 

 

 

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Visit Angel's blog for more of her loveliness!

 

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Read more Square-Peg Interviews here!

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(Full Disclosure: we're affiliates of Amazon.com - so when you buy from the book links above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!)

Comments

[Lis]

Ooo! I should have read these juicy answers before talking with you :) Love reading about another "multi-passionate" being (I resist the scanner label - probably because it feels too true!) - we are an army of creatives! Off to check out the book suggestions (I can remember the shelf in my public library where I could reach for A Light in the Attic - need my own copy now!) xo