Square-Peg People

BOOKS

 

 

Subtitled: A bizarre bookstore, a delightful parenting book, a wild-wonderful book about poetry, and me falling in love with Books (again).

For the past couple years my relationship with Books has been in a lull.

I've read articles and blog posts more than books, and the books I have read I've read on Kindle or Blio - not in-your-hand books. Until these books.

All of a sudden I'm remembering how much I love holding an actual book, how good they smell, how I can love them so much that I get antsy and wrapped in anticipatory grief as I get close to the end of a good one. I think Books and I will be hanging out more frequently in the near future.

I'm going to tell you about the books that I'm loving (it'll take a few blog posts), starting with the delightful parenting book, Parenting with Presence.

 

Maybe I've misled you by calling this parenting book "delightful", what it closer to fact is: I was full of delight as I read it.

I'm rarely a fan of parenting books because I've seen too many that speak with the voice of Authority (that ugly, bossy, above-you, shame-on-you-dipshit, voice).

This one is different (which is why I was full of delight while reading it). It's gentle and deep, very practical, full of stories and activities/practices. And the author, Susan Stiffelman, MFT, speaks with the voice of Real (not mean, old Authority). Also, (the best part) you can hear love in her voice!

Obviously, with the title Parenting with Presence, this book is for parents (young 'uns, not adult children). My children are adults (the youngest turns 25 in about a minute), but still I found this book interesting (and delight-full, as I mentioned) because it's about relationships and presence.

Stiffelman writes about children being our best teachers, which sounds cliche - but isn't in this book (you've got to read it to see how she does this). She writes about things you don't often see written about in non-shaming ways, like anger (parents' and child's) and disappointment in parenting (there's a whole chapter, called Throw away the Snapshot, that delves into that subject - with a crap-ton of wisdom).

At the end of book the author predicts that "the world will be populated with more and more people who grew up feeling seen, appreciated, and enjoyed" as many people begin "parenting with greater presence, attunement, and engagement" That sounds good, right?

If you're a fan of Eckhart Tolle (can't say I'm a fan because I've only read one of his books, The Power of Now - but there was a page in that book that I read over and over and over - and will tell you that if it didn't literally save my life during a terribly hard time - it certainly saved my sanity) you might be interested to know that the publisher of Parenting with Presence says: "The book is an inaugural title in Eckhart Tolle’s new publishing imprint with New World Library, which features books hand selected by the bestselling author of The Power of Now for publication".

Upcoming books I'll be sharing the love about in future posts:

and

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Full Disclosure: The publisher of this book, New World Library, sent me a copy of the Parenting with Presence to consider for review; I did not receive money for the review. Also, Square-Peg People is affiliated with Amazon.com, which means that when you buy from the link above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!

Holiday Book Love

 

 

I haven't shared book lists in a long time - and haven't done many reviews in the past couple/few years either…

so you might not know that I love books, but I do! Books were my best friends when I was a kid - and my best guides when I was older.

If YOU're a book lover too, how 'bout we exchange the names of holiday and/or seasonal favorites?

I'm always looking for new books to cherish, and like to hear about all kinds of books. Books from other traditions, from all genres - picture, poem or word books - alllllll kinds.

I'm going to point to three earlier posts that name the holiday favorites around here and I'm hoping you'll share YOUr favorites in the comments below (please)!

First up, funny books: The Holiday Book List.

Then books for kids: Favorite Holiday Books for Kids.

And lastly, the more spiritually leaning books: Oh Hell, it's the Holy Holly Holiday Reading List.

Your turn ~

Hop, Skip, and Jump, Baby!

A Square-Peg People Book Review

Hop, Skip, Jump

by Marney Makridakis

I hopped, skipped, and jumped through Marney Makridakis's new book, Hop, Skip, Jump: 75 Ways to Playfully Manifest a Meaningful Life. I did!

When I went back and read through it again, with an eye to what I wanted to tell you, I was amused me to read this exhortation in the Introduction:

"If you generally don't like to read a book cover to cover, you can relax. This is, above all, an idea book, here to help you access more play and productivity in your life, and to help you do it in your own way. You don't need to read this book in sequential order and should feel free to -- you guessed it -- hop, skip, and jump around the book."

Ha! I did, I did!! And you might too - even if your normal reading style is more conservative (mine is).

Hop, Skip, Jump feels like a visit to a magician's workshop - where all the doors in your mind are thrown open to possibilities. So many possibilities! And Magician Marney (who says, in the Introduction, that she has "an imagination broader than Disneyland") doesn't seem to judge when we're fearful or lagging behind - she just offers more (and more!) ways to join in.

Marney describes Hop, Skip, and Jump (the book and the concept) thusly:

"Hop, Skip, and Jump represent three distinct energies that can work together harmoniously. This book is about playfully activating the energies of all three phases so that your manifestation process becomes a lot more robust and, especially, a lot more fun."

Here's a brief description of the phases:

Hopping refers to having an idea or impulse and exploring it in your imagination.
Skipping refers to experimenting and trying new things.
Jumping refers to quickly moving into action.

In an earlier post Hey, I'm an Irish Setter I mentioned that I'm heavily into Hop - though there's a lot of Skip in me as well. Jump I lack - but the book has loads of ways to playfully integrate the styles that we're not so strong in into our lives - because all three are important!

Which one are YOU? You can take a quiz (in the book or online) to determine what Marney calls your "core inclination".

The book describes/explains the 3 phases in different ways - from a table that "lists the goals, advantages, and potential risks of each phase" to a very interesting section (The Language of the Body) discussing "ways each phase contributes to physical development", to "Sample Scenarios", introducing us to a hopper, a skipper, and a jumper (somewhat day-in-the-life style).

Each chapter starts off with a FUN FACT and a question/prompt connected to the FUN FACT. Here's one:

"The original Kenner Easy-Bake Oven was heated by two one-hundred-watt lightbulbs, a design inspired by the roasted chestnuts sold by street vendors in New York City." And the question/prompt:

"How will you know when your idea or project is fully baked? Can you test it for doneness, like sticking a toothpick in a cake?"

There are also a number of Top Ten lists included. Some are a little on the schmaltzy side (not snarky like the David Letterman lists), but more than one had me literally laughing out loud. Real loud.

My favorite is "TOP TEN SIGNS YOU NEED TO TAKE A BREAK AND GROUND YOUR ENERGY", which includes:

10. You're trying to send a text message using the TV remote control. (Ha!), 9. Adding an appointment to your calendar reminds you of playing Tetris. (Ha! Ha!), 8. You find yourself ordering a sandwich from the bank teller. (Ha! Haaaaa!). You'll have to check out the book to see the other 7; I don't want to spoil all the fun!

Each chapter ends with an AcroWhim and a Haikoodle. Ok, ok - I have to say it: these are my least favorite parts of the book. I rarely enjoy haikus, and acronyms (with the exception of SNAFU) kinda make my stomach hurt. They feel forced - they are forced.

But I'll forgive the author (grin) because you can feel the sense of fun (play!) she had coming up with them. I'm not sharing AcroWhims or Haikoodles though; gotta hunt down a book for those (and who knows, YOU might love them!).

In between the extras described above there are ideas, suggestions, exercises and prompts to help us strengthen (and enjoy!) each of the three phases (hop, skip, and jump - in case they slipped your mind).

There's my personal favorite, Design Your Plan-it-arium (really rocking the star stuff prompts!) in the Hop section (plus 24 more); What Butterflies Know About Manifesting in the Skip section (plus, you know - 24 more); and Turn Your Doubt into a Dare in the Jump section (ahem - more, too).

This is a fun book, and feels personal - like you're sitting down with Marney. I'm going to keep Hop, Skip, Jump handy to jumpstart creativity and play often! You can't get enough play (it's vital)!!

Consider picking up a copy of Hop, Skip, Jump using this link - you'll be helping to support Square-Peg People without paying a penny more (we're Amazon Affiliates). Thanks!

Disclaimer: I am reviewing this book as part of the Hop, Skip, Jump Blog Celebration. I received a copy of the book from the publisher and am listed on Artella Land’s roster of 75 featured blogs. My opinions are my own.

Hey, have your read our Square-Peg Interview of Marney Makridakis? Check it out!

Hey, I'm an Irish Setter

 

Nah, not really - and neither is the guy whose picture you see above (he's just a cool mule who stands outside the Michener Museum), but I do want to point to something (POINT, get it? Irish Setters are one of the pointer breeds). Ok, I'll get to it.

Marney Makridakis has a new book coming out November 11th, it's called Hop, Skip, Jump: 75 Ways to Playfully Manifest a Meaningful Life.

 

Here's a picture of it. I've got a copy in my hot little hands right now - and I can tell you that this is a fun book!

{Aside: Years ago I took the majority of Marney's classes - and attended her first two in-person retreats. Her influence, classes and retreats are the reason that I got into blogging - and met so many lovely Square-Peg folk. I'm so grateful!}

I'll do a review of Hop, Skip, Jump very soon - but what I want to point you to now is a cute quiz that's related to the book. It helps you figure out whether you're a hopper, skipper, or jumper when it comes to play and productivity. Here's a link to the Hop, Skip, Jump Quiz.

FYI: I'm heavily into Hop - though there's a lot of Skip in me as well. Jump I lack - but the book has loads of ways to playfully integrate the styles that we're not so strong in into our lives - because all three are important!

Have your read our Square-Peg Interview of Marney Makridakis? Check it out!

~ ~ ~ ~

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher - with the understanding that I would only review it if I liked it (I did!).

Also, we're affiliates of Amazon.com - so when you buy from the links above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!

Jennifer Louden Wants to Mess With Your Life

 

 

The book is subtitled Tips, Stories & Prompts to Focus Your Needs & Navigate Your Dreams, so you can see what I mean: when someone prompts you to focus on your needs and navigate your goals they're messing with your life.

(And when you start focusing on your needs and navigating your goals, well - who knows what might happen!!!)

I've had this book twice. I bought it first when it came out in hardback. When I held it in my hands and glanced through it I pronounced it: "soooo cool!".

But I never used it - I just admired it. And eventually (ouch - it is hard for me to let go of books) gifted it to someone when I needed to dismantle a couple bookcases in my bedroom.

I didn't let Jennifer Louden mess with my life - until I did.

There's that saying: "when the student is ready the teacher will come" True!

When The Life Organizer came out in paperback the publicist asked if I'd like a copy to consider for review. I remembered how taken I was with it the first time (and all the promise contained in its pages) and I pretty much leaped in with a: "Yes!"

This time I was ready - and there was Jennifer Louden (well, her book anyway) willing to mess with my life.

The Life Organizer, if you work with it (take a tip from me: for some reason nothing happens if it sits untouched on your bookshelf), slows you down and gets you listening to yourSelf. It's directions, roadmaps, and travel guide to the land of Now (hellz, it'll connect you with your GPS).

The (physical) book itself is gorgeous - the design, the colors, the paper - all lovely. And the way it's set up is very Square-Peg (no my way or the highway crap, respectful of our uniquenesses - designed so that you can move into it in many directions).

I am loving this book: answering the questions in it, using the prompts, s    l    o    w    i    n    g down and paying attention to my needs and desires - wow!

Below is an article from Jennifer Louden that shares her views on life organizing - check it out and see if you might like to let Jennifer mess with your life:

Life Organizing: A Completely New Way to Flow with Time
By Jennifer Louden

    Do you feel a pull to be present, to match your pace to the fluid and complex world ours has become? If so, the more traditional approaches to managing your life and structuring your days can hog-tie you, forcing you to relinquish the skills most needed in today’s world – like intuition, emotional intelligence, creativity, and big-picture thinking.

    I’ve got an alternative. This process, what I call life organizing, is infinitely richer then plotting your days in fifteen-minute increments in your planner. But one warning: change can be frightening, especially at first. I will ask you, over and over, to trust, to loosen your grip on life. I will ask you to stop and feel, to tune in to what you really want and what you really know. The rewards of your courage are limitless – a life that sings, that moves with instead of against.

    While a short article isn’t enough space to give all the knowledge, experiences, and thoughts I have about life organizing (I’d need to write a book to do that – and, in fact, I have!), I can provide the basics. Life organizing works in two complementary ways, easily adoptable and adaptable:

    1) A life planner that you choose and create. This planner will enable you to discern what you want week by week while gently tracking where your time and energy are actually going, and what might be getting in your way of living a life you love. The life planner’s core is four to six weekly mindful questions that build on and refer to each other, and move you into a deeper mode of awareness and listening.
    2) A check-in that consists of five steps and requires as little time as it takes to open the freezer, find the ice cream, and get a spoon.

1. Connect: Breathe deeper, stretch your arms overhead, step outside and feel the breeze on your skin - anything that connects you with the physical world.
2. Feel: Tune into your heart to access information unavailable to your head. Put your attention on your heart, placing your hand there. Recall a time you felt loved and appreciated or loving and appreciative. Linger there for a few seconds.

3. Inquire: Ask a mindful question to open up possibilities you literally couldn’t see before. My favorite: What do I need to know right now? (What if you really didn’t need to know more than the next immediate step?)

What do I want? (Creativity requires being in touch with your undiluted desires. Remember, you don’t have to act on what you want, and wanting doesn’t mean getting.)

What don’t I want? (Sometimes the process of elimination can be less intimidating than naming your desires outright!)

How can I be gentle with myself in this situation? (We can all benefit from asking this many times a day)

4. Allow: Trust that, by connecting, feeling, and inquiring, you’ll hear or see or feel or sense what your next step is—and only your next step. Allowing is about noticing your experience, and opening to your next step.

5. Apply: Action is where the practical and results-oriented parts of you get their due. Without action, without decision, you remain in possibility, which is safe and beautiful but eventually enervating and boring. That doesn’t mean eating the whole elephant in one bite; small steps aren’t just okay; they’re encouraged.

Life Organizing in the Moment in Action

    It’s mid-morning, and your plan for the day is already in shambles. You’re reaching for a Diet Coke, hoping it will give you the energy to deal with the next crisis. Then you remember that there’s another way. You make the choice.

    Feel your feet connecting with the ground beneath you. Take a deep breath and reach your arms overhead, exhaling with a huge sigh. Put your hand on your heart and recall feeling balanced and flowing. Ask, “What choice feels easiest in this moment?” Visualize bringing this question into your heart, and take a breath or two to infuse it with flow and peace.

    Perhaps a brief image of your sister comes to mind, or you hear a refrain of an old song that reminds you of her. Or perhaps you remember the feeling of your sister hugging you. You call her, have a lovely chat, and when you get off the phone, you have new energy —enough to move you forward to the next task awaiting you.

    Do you begin to see how this approach flows with life? I’m not proposing you sell your worldly possessions and move to the woods to live in an unheated yurt. I’m not recommending you consult crystals or the I Ching before moving a muscle. What I’m saying is when you think you’re lost, overwhelmed, and without direction, you do “know” what to do to restore your balance and your direction– but it’s a different kind of knowing, one you already possess, and need only be reminded of how to access.

Jennifer Louden is the author of The Life Organizer and The Woman’s Comfort Book. A personal growth pioneer who helped launch the self-care movement, she's written 4 additional books on well-being and whole living that have inspired women all over the world. Jen believes self-love + world-love = wholeness for all.  Visit http://JenniferLouden.com/lifeorganizer for a life organizer app & other useful freebies.

Based on the new paperback edition of The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year © 2013 by Jennifer Louden. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA.

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Read more Square-Peg People Book Reviews!

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Full Disclosure: The publisher of this book sent me a copy of the book to consider for review; I did not receive money for the review, and agreed to review it only if I liked it (I did!). Also, Square-Peg People is affiliated with Amazon.com, which means that when you buy from the link above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!

 

Eric Maisel, Get a Grip

 

 

Wait! That post title is probably confusing.

I've got no gripe with Eric Maisel - as a matter of fact I want to share an excerpt with you (entitled Get a Grip on Your Mind) from his new book Making Your Creative Mark (thanks to the generosity of his publisher, New World Library).

Whether you think you're a creative - or not (and everyone IS a creative, just sayin') you'll find much helpful (and practical) information in Eric Maisel's book for working with your mind, for getting things done, for encouraging yourself! 

 

Before sharing the excerpt I want to point out that Eric Maisel and I use very different words around dealing with our inner voices. Maisel uses militant language at times (i.e.: "actively combat", "You must battle", "fight the thought tooth and nail"), but we're both talking about noticing and listening to those inner thoughts and voices.

And about allowing your thoughts - all of them! In Maisel's tip #3, called Listen to what you say to yourself , he writes about (what else?) listening to yourself - how you can't work with your thoughts if you're not aware of them. So blinking true!

In I Hear Voices I wrote about The Guest House Approach to connecting with our inner voices, but I didn't write about dealing with them.

Making Your Creative Mark opened my eyes to the idea of setting boundaries for our thoughts/inner voices, particularly the ones (to use a Maisel phrase) "that don't serve you".

Like every book of Eric Maisel's that I've read, there are many practical ideas that you can put to work for yourself right away (I love, Love, LOVE practical ideas, being - you know - less than practical minded myself these are like magic to me).

I'll leave you now to read an excerpt from Eric Maisel's wonderful new book, Making Your Creative Mark - where you'll find some great tools for working with your mind!

Here 'tis - enjoy!

 

Get a Grip on Your Mind

An Excerpt from Making Your Creative Mark by Eric Maisel

 

Creating depends on having a mind quiet enough to allow ideas to bubble up. Living a successful, healthy life as an artist requires that your self-talk align with your goals and your aspirations. Your job is to quiet your mind and extinguish negative self-talk. These are your two most important tasks if you want a shot at your best life in the arts. Here are some handy tips:

 1. Recognize that you are the only one who can get a grip on your mind. There is no pill to take. There is no one to consult. There is nothing to read. You must mind your mind. You can let your thoughts do whatever they want and go off in any direction, or you can say, “No, that thought doesn’t serve me.” Only you can do that work.

 2. Recognize that you do not have to accept, tolerate, or countenance a thought just because you thought it. You may have the thought, “Wow, John really made me angry at work today!” Then it is your choice whether to brood about John or whether to get on with your novel. It may be easier to brood about John than to write your novel, so you may have powerful reasons to stay angry. It’s your choice.

When we say something to ourselves like “My novel stinks” or “I won’t play well tonight,” we believe that thought just because we thought it. But many of our thoughts are simply not true, and even if they are true, they may not serve us. 

 3. Listen to what you say to yourself. If you can’t hear your own thoughts, you can’t get rid of the ones that aren’t serving you. If you can’t admit to yourself that you are constantly thinking that life is a cheat, that you’ve badly disappointed yourself by wasting so much time, or that you hate to be criticized, you won’t be able to dispute and extinguish those thoughts. Yes, it can be extremely painful to admit to them, but it is better to grapple with them than to let them cycle endlessly.

 4. Decide if what you are telling yourself serves you. You are not looking at the truth or falsity of a thought but rather at whether the thought is or isn’t serving you. Countless true thoughts do not serve us. All the following may be true thoughts that nevertheless do not serve you to think: “I might have written ten books by now”; “Writing a novel is hard”; “Selling a novel is hard”; “I’m not sure I have it in me either to write a novel or to sell a novel.” None of those thoughts, even if true, serve you. The only thought that serves you, if you want to write a novel, is “I am off to my novel!”

 5. When you decide that a thought doesn’t serve you, dispute it and dismiss it. It can seem very strange at first to dispute your own thoughts. Yet dispute them you must. Get in the habit of saying to yourself, “That was an interesting thought. Does it serve me?” If you know or suspect that it doesn’t, dismiss it out of hand. Do not linger over it! This sounds like “That thought doesn’t serve me and I am dismissing it!” Mean it when you say it!

 6. When a thought that doesn’t serve you lingers, actively combat it. Some thoughts just won’t go away. Maybe it’s “No one wanted my first novel, and my second novel is an even more difficult sell, so why in heaven’s name am I writing it?” You may not be able to get rid of this thought simply by snapping your fingers. Then do more than snap your fingers — fight the thought tooth and nail. Maybe you’ll have to write out the ten reasons why this book may be wanted. Maybe you’ll have to chat seriously with yourself about self-publishing. You must battle brooding, clinging, disabling thoughts — or else you will be thinking them regularly. 

 7. After you’ve disputed and dismissed a thought, think a thought that does serve you. Creating thought substitutes is an important part of the process. These substitutes can be tailored to the situation, or they can be simple global affirmations that you create once and use over and over again, such as “I’m perfectly fine,” “Back to work,” “Right here, right now,” or “Process.” Because for so many of us the default way of thinking is negative, self-critical, and injurious, we want to create and use thought substitutes that help prevent our brain from conjuring up its usual distortions and distractions.

 8. Get in the smart habit of extinguishing unproductive self-talk even before it arises. Often we know when a thought is coming. Maybe you’ve been waiting to hear from an editor who said she would call on Tuesday, and now it’s Friday. You know that if she doesn’t call today, you are certain to begin thinking thoughts like “She’s never going to call,” “She’s about to reject my work,” and “I can’t stand all this waiting.” You know these thoughts are coming. So extinguish them now and replace them with “I’m spending the weekend working on my new pet project! And I won’t think about that editor until Monday!” How many times have you known that a thought that doesn’t serve you is coming and let yourself think it anyway? It’s time to stop doing that.

 9. Engage in active cognitive support. This means creating the thoughts that you want to be thinking and then thinking them. These thoughts might include all of the following: “I paint every single morning”; “I’m going to succeed”; “I know how to make meaning”; “I’m lavishing my love and attention on my current painting”; “I’m not afraid of process”; “I show up”; “I take the risks that I need to take, with my work and in the marketplace”; “I am creating a body of work”; “I am a painter.” You can think thoughts like these if you choose to think them.

 

You may never have thought about the possibility of getting a grip on your mind. I hope that you’ll seriously consider it now.

**

Eric Maisel is the author of Making Your Creative Mark and twenty other creativity titles including Mastering Creative Anxiety, Brainstorm, Creativity for Life, and Coaching the Artist Within. America’s foremost creativity coach, he is widely known as a creativity expert who coaches individuals and trains creativity coaches through workshops and keynotes nationally and internationally. He has blogs on the Huffington Post and Psychology Today and writes a column for Professional Artist Magazine. Visit him online at  http://www.ericmaisel.com. 

 

Excerpted from the new book Making Your Creative Mark ©2013 by Eric Maisel.  Published with permission of New World Library.

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Read more Square-Peg People Book Reviews!

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Full Disclosure: The publisher of this book sent me a copy of the book to consider for review; I did not receive money for the review. Also, Square-Peg People is affiliated with Amazon.com, which means that when you buy from the link above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!

 

How NOT to Create

 

 

Lack of concentration wrapped around me like a cape. A knotted up, sometimes-too-tight, sometimes-too-floppy, ohmyword-get-off-me kind of cape. You know? Yes, YOU know!

When I wasn't going with the ADD-ish thing (look at that. and that. and that. better fix it/pick it up/weed it, chase it NOW) I was in a meh mood - or

tired beyond belief...

When I stepped back for some perspective I could see that everything was pointing to Resistance! Big, fat, hairy Resistance! Uh oh!

I stepped even further back and realized that all the craziness was due to Fear (well, doesn't Resistance almost always come at the invitation of Fear?).

This particular Fear was Fear of Being Ordinary.

I fought a similar Fear aeons ago, in my college years (we're talking a long time ago - so long ago that I had to walk barefoot. Uphill. Both ways. Avoiding mastadon poo...).

Back then I didn't realize what I was doing - but later I figured out that my late starts on papers and my power-through-til-the-wee-hours procrastination were due to Fear of Not Making the Grade (the grade being A+, just so you know), an obvious relative of Fear of Being Ordinary.

The procrastination I engaged in in college served a purpose (I got that insight after a lot of inner work) -

it helped me make sure that, whatever grade I got, I could say: "Wellllll, if I'd started earlier this could've been a lot better". I wouldn't have to feel bad if my efforts weren't rewarded with an A+.

I thought I was done with that, but then I noticed Fear of Being Ordinary - damn!

He came to visit each time I moved toward my piece of an incredible collaborative project I was (and am) working on with writer Charlotte Rains Dixon* (one I've been thrilled about from the beginning - and which, after our weekly Skype calls, I am nearly dancing about).

So I sat myself down and played (which involved drawing a visionary map kinda thing).

And that's how I realized that Fear of Being Ordinary was bringing on the ADD stuff - and the meh mood, and the tired beyond belief yawns, and - well, ALL of it.

I kept playing with the map - and letting it take me into a new relationship with Fear. During the time that I was playing - and open to change -  I happened on a paragraph in An Unused Intelligence by Andy Bryner & Dawna Markova, Ph.D. that explained my map work was helping me move past "mental ruts":

The authors mentioned that Milton Erickson, M.D. "...explained that adult learning was very difficult if you begin at the level of the rational belief system. His research and experience indicated, rather, that if you changed the context in which a person is thinking about something, his or her perceptions would change. This enables the learner to change his or her behavior, which then makes changing beliefs possible: change the context, change the perception, change the behavior, change the belief. Erickson said that when most people reverse the order, they get stuck in habitual mental ruts." {bold and italics emphasis mine}

Playing with visionary maps was helping me look at things in a different context (in this case - looking at what was going on, and what I wanted to happen, through the framework of a map), and...

all of a sudden - kaboom! Big shift. No ruts.

What came to me boiled down to this (getting to this place involved about 27 and 1/2 thought revolutions, so I'm going to shorten it by telling you where I wound up, rather than attempt to trace the whole process):

howzabout we don't worry about ME, get past myself - let ego take a nap...and instead concentrate on the people who will take the class. Figure out how to make it fun for them - how to share what I've learned about sharing (my part of the class is called: Sharing From the Heart vs. Open Heart Surgery**)

All of a sudden the fun came back, Fear of Being Ordinary was off napping somewhere (maybe on a gold-flecked hammock?). And the lack of concentration cape, the ADD stuff, the meh mood, the tired beyond belief yawns - gone! I stopped avoiding my part of the collaborative project - and started enjoying it again!!

Funny how play (and the whole changing concepts thing) can make a creative block/rut/stuck place disappear! 

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

*You can find my friend, Charlotte Rains Dixon (free-lance journalist, ghostwriter, and author) on her blog, subtitled: "Helping you create a successful, inspired writing life."

**more to come as we finish up our page describing the teleclass (but psst - it's about Authenticity & Creativity!)

Making Friends With Time

 

 

Marney Makridakis has done it again!

Through the years I've taken a lot of Marney's classes. As a matter of fact, waaay back in 2004 her You*U e-course gave me the skills and courage to launch Square-Peg People (not to mention introduced me to many wonderful friends!).

Before that, in 2002, I learned the skills and focus to make things happen in her Goalar course.

And before that - an e-Book she co-authored, Awaken Your Interior Designer (probably the first e-book I ever bought), gave me the skills and self-knowledge to re-do a number of rooms in my house so that they reflected more of who I am and what I love - which gave me more energy throughout the day!

Marney IS inspiration (with lots of skill-sharing thrown in)!

So I wasn't surprised when I got my advance copy of Creating Time and found it full of paradigm-shifting exercises (and skills - and inspiration) around the subject of time - a great big TIME SHIFT in a book!

My first thought, on opening the book, was: Marney is taking on Time - and I know who will win!

But I quickly realized that a fight metaphor didn't fit. Marney didn't fight time - she wooed her.

It's as if she made friends with Time, and therefore Time gave up her secrets to Marney to share with us. Thank you, Marney - I think we all wanted to be Time's best friend, and now you've made that possible!

In my first read-through of Creating Time I let the energy and inspiration soak in. Plus I took time to enjoy the art work and words of some of my favorite people (Marney is very inclusionary: she brought friends and co-workers in, throughout the book, to share their perspectives - and their art!).

Going through the book again I was so awed by the many paradigm shifting exercises that I couldn't decide which to attempt - but Marney must've seen that coming, she created a chart.

To personalize the reader’s process, Creating Time contains a “Time Diagnosis Chart” which identifies 14 of the most popular time complaints, and recommends which of the book’s tools are most effective in addressing them. *

You might wonder how this book compares to time management books. Me too - and Marney's got the answer to that:

How is your book different from a typical "time management" book?
Time-management books, as well as the latest time-tracking and productivity aids, can certainly be of help to us on the practical level, but they are limited in their long-term effectiveness, since the true nature of time extends beyond the chronological hours displayed in our calendars, wristwatches and smart phones. I really wanted to dive into the psychological, philosophical and emotional aspects of time, to help readers come away with a liberating new view of self and a fresh perspective on the meaning of being human, empowered, and fully alive. So while the book is definitely filled with practical, hands-on tips for creating more time in your day, it’s also about finding a new way to experience time in its entirety, your full time on this earth…shifting our focus away from how we spend time to instead reveling in what we receive from our time. And, besides, most time management books won’t guide you to make collages and design offbeat new clocks and creative time-pieces! While intensely practical, I also wanted the 14 time shifting projects in this book to be a lot of fun and inspire a sense of playful abandon and freedom.*

Like all my favorite books, this one includes a lot of stories. I love reading how and why someone comes up with a particular approach - and also how and why it works for them (and, in this case, how it works for many others!).

If you'd like to befriend Time - and come away with some of her secrets, Creating Time is a book you'll want to check out!

*Excerpts from a Q & A document put out by Marney's publisher, New World Library.

 

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Want to learn more about the inspiring artist and author of Creating Time? Check out Square-Peg People's Interview with Marney Makridakis (yep, she's a Square-Peg too!).

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(Full Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher - with the understanding that I would only review it if I liked it (I did!). Also, we're affiliates of Amazon.com - so when you buy from the book links above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!)

Know When to Hold 'Em

 

 

The other day, as part of my dedication to X-treme self-care, I was headed upstairs for a nice soak in the tub. On the way up I grabbed the book Sin Boldly.

I'm trying to weed out my books - send some on to their next home. And I figured that Sin Boldly would be easy to part with - I could reread it while soaking, get out and toss it in the thrift shop pile.

In the past I've looked at books in what I'm finding is a less-than-healthy way. Which, not coincidentally, is the same way I've looked at people.

I've looked at people (and books) with the expectation (hope, desire) that all of them stay around forever. Ok, maybe it's involved a teensy bit of (previously) unrecognized need to hold on to them forever (subtle, but significant, difference).

I so see how this is a result of my childhood, but let's skip that story for now.

Over the past couple of years the Universe has shown me that it's not all that helpful/healthy to hold on to all the books (or all the people) that come into my orbit.

Sometimes I've been shown this in an abrupt manner and I've been less than thrilled (just sayin').

When I scanned my bookshelves for a toss-able book, something that'd be easy to let go of (no finger-prying necessary), I chose Sin Boldly because it was written by journalist Cathleen Falsani, who refers to herself as a born again Christian.

Ofttimes I want to bite people when they get into preachy mode. Even Anne Lamott, one of my favorite nonfiction writers, has drawn this response (not actually biting her, but definitely wanting to!).

I figured it was quite possible for Sin Boldly to make my teeth hurt (the biting thing).

So Sin Boldly went into the tub with me.

Well, don't you just love when you absolutely know something - when you know, know, KNOW it - and you're wrong?

That happened!

Cathleen Falsani started off with a quote from the brilliant, heart-opening writer, Frederick Buechener (the post above, A Great Big YES! is the Buechner quote) -

who happens to be a Christian that I've never felt the urge to bite (even though I have almost all of the prolific fellow's books, so I've had chomping opportunities) -

Great start! And, it turns out that Sin Boldly is about grace (a subject that always grabs my heart) - which is pretty obvious from the subtitle, A Field Guide for Grace, but escaped my notice (and memory - I did read the book when I first bought it) when I pulled it off the bookshelf. 

Falsani 'gets' that grace is hard to nail down, but she still tries - I LOVE that! I went through the book a couple times to find ONE description of grace to share with you, but it's hopeless - the book is full of stories of grace, but nothing T-shirt slogan short, except...

where Falsani specifically mentions a T-shirt: " 'Grace doesn't deny my assholeness,' Jean said. (I immediately had the urge to put that on a T-shirt.)"

This is from the chapter where she writes about meeting a pastor (Jean Larroux, nicknamed The Screaming Frenchman) who moved back to New Orleans after Katrina - who further explains grace:

"I mean, I come into work and I've got all this stuff going on and I snap at somebody and I'm just a real, live asshole. And grace in that moment, you can't neatly package. It's somebody throwing their arms around you and saying, ' I love you, but you are an asshole.'"

{Falsani adds} "Yes, but you're my asshole, I envision God saying."

Who could thrift shop toss a book that combines (positive) asshole-speak and grace? Not me!

The book just kept getting better - and I never once felt like biting Falsani!

So, Sin Boldly will not head off to the thrift store...

but I will continue weeding through my books - trying to remember to hold them (and people) loosely - while realizing that I don't do that too well.

Do you ever have trouble knowing what to hold on to and what to let go of?

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Full Disclosure: we're affiliates of Amazon.com - so when you buy from the links above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!

 

Pattie Mosca & Permission Slips...For Your Heart & Soul

 

 

I met Pattie Mosca back in 2005 at an Artella Retreat - and later had the privilege of interviewing her for Square-Peg People.

She's a gal who wears her heart on her sleeve, reaches out to people when they're hurting (I can personally attest to that) and makes art that always brings a smile to my face.

Pattie's been published in many (many!) popular magazines - and is now the proud mama of her first book, Permission Slips...for Your Heart & Soul (published by Story People - wow!).

Pattie agreed to answer a few questions about Permission Slips - which I share below (the interview questions are in brown, Pattie's answers in black) - and also shared some of her artwork from the book with us.

You can see more of her art on our Square-Peg People Interview with Pattie Mosca page - and speaking of Pattie's art - go order her book, it will not only help you remember to give yourself permission, but her art will bring a smile to your face for sure.

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(I know that you wrote briefly about this in the Introduction of your book, but...) Can you tell us how, or what, got you starting writing a book giving people permission?

In 2008 I began the year on a direct route to following my hearts dreams by submitting artwork to national magazines without fear! I called it "the get known nationally now tour"!

But right in the middle of my dream I was faced with the knowledge that my good husband, Michael had an incurable cancer and we were given the prognosis of 3 to 5 years.

POW! Right in the gut, and I stopped living my life. I rarely painted anymore, writing became only a small portion here and there, and rarely did I go out with friends.

Mostly I did this out of guilt...guilt that I was healthy...guilt that I was living...guilt that if I did things for myself that would be selfish. And I became a "caregiver" to my husband, doctors appointments, hospital visits, paperwork, all the household things. Life changed for me.

One day, a friend asked me what I was doing, and why wasn't I taking care of myself. What would it take to allow myself to do that, because you have to take care of yourself in order to really take care of someone else.

PERMISSION...that is what I needed. But from whom?...MYSELF!

So I started making myself a permission slip every week in an art journal, for those things I needed; a nap in the afternoon without guilt, laughing, finding something to smile about all day long.

And to my surprise the more I made the slips, the better I felt, the better I felt, the better I could take care of Michael.

By the end of the year of making those slips (52 of them) I felt pretty darn good even though my life was drastically changing. And as I felt good those around me felt good and the snowball effect of living life to the fullest took place all around me.

In 2011, toward the end of Michael’s life, I was having a very hard day and I pulled out that 2008 journal of permission slips to find one that I could use to help me...when I had a moment that said other people need permission too, that I couldn’t possibly be the only person who was not giving it to myself.

So I put it out to the universe...I shared my heart with Storypeople and they saw the value in giving ourselves permission and now that journal is a book for everyone!

My good husband passed several weeks before I actually found out that the journal was going to be made into a book, but he believed in me and kept saying “when they publish your book it is going to be so great, and help so many people. I am so proud of you”. And I know that he is!

Do you have a favorite permission slip, or one you find yourself using the most? If so, would you tell us which one and why?

This is my favorite permission slip…Rose-Colored Glasses Day. 

Maybe it is because I have a sort of “pollyannish” out look on life! Especially during the time that I was doing this art journal.

 

This permission slip allowed me to see things in different way…My husband and I began to LIVE life with cancer. We choose to take the time that we had and enjoy the smallest of moments. We began to see things in shades of pink instead of grey.

 

Lots of people did not understand how we could laugh and joke while he was doing treatments, but we found that it served our hearts and souls to honor the time that we still had together, even if we were looking through rose colored glasses.

 

What part does art play in your personal permission (or, let's say - in your acceptance of your Self)?

 

Art is such an important part of my life, and by giving myself permission to do it when my muse shows herself allows me to stay true to my heart.

When I did not allow myself permission to paint or write I was well aware that there were pieces of ME missing. I knew that I was making myself unhappy by taking this important part of me and putting it to the side.

Once I gave myself permission to honor myself again…OH, how much better I felt, how much stronger I felt, how much more ME I felt.

What about your book do you think will grab the hearts of Square-Peg readers (you know, folks who resonate with the term Square-Peg)?

I myself am totally a square-peg person, never feeling that I quite fit in anywhere as a whole; and never more so than before I had started this journal.

This book allowed me to be uniquely me and begin to live the life that makes me who I am.

I think as square-peg people, we try to conform to what others think we should be doing, or we should be like, or how we should act. These permissions slips allow us to be our unique self.

We so easily give permission to everyone else, family and friends, but rarely do we give it to ourselves. Sometimes we just need someone else to give us permission. Sometimes it just takes that one slip that allows us to give ourselves more permission.

It is my heart's desire that at least one of these 52 permission slips resonates with the heart of readers. That they use them to catapult more permission for themselves in order to be true to their own heart, dreams and desires.

GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION!

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Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher - with the understanding that I would only review it if I liked it (I did!). Also, we're affiliates of Amazon.com - so when you buy from the links above you don't pay a penny more, but you help support Square-Peg People. Thanks!